Automotive Technician Gifts

Well, the car's computer say it's YOU who won't start, runs rough, and back fires on acceleration.

'Where ya goin'?' 'Collectin' nuts.'

"Get all the second opinions you want, doctor, …. You'll still be a quart low."

"There's that squeak again."

"I'm your problem."

"We're having a little trouble with our hydraulic lift. I guess my question is, do you still want your muffler replaced?"

'Are we there yet?'

"Still won't start?"

"How much for a good set of earplugs?"

Tin man visits automotive oil change facility.

"How deep are those pockets?"

"Nap time."

'Your car won't be ready until it changes its attitude.'

Mechanic under car gives seated passenger a shock,

"Your new car won't start? Oh, well, umm…that's just the car's Collision Avoidance System kicking in. It doesn't want you to hit anything today."

'Here's your problem, mate. You know nothing about cars, and I could be telling you any old rubbish.'

How's my self-driving?

Mechanic looking under the hood of a car.

"Oh, no... I don't think it's just an oil change this time!"

Taking work home.

Good Morning and Welcome to 'Car Talk'!

"I walked home. I got tired of waiting for a submersible tow truck."

"The replacement part is $28, but cost will be $3,200 after we dismantle half the engine to install it."

"I think my front wheels are out of alignment."

'Well, it wasn't the motor -- I'll try replacing the other stuff.'

Car Trouble.

"Oh...that's not good."

"So this is what you want? This is why after school, almost every day, you spend all your extra free time working at the auto store?"

Mechanic under a car.

'I'm afraid that your battery has passed on. . .'

Mechanic working on a hearse flees from falling skull

'Difficulty getting started in the morning, stalling, various leaks, gas fumes...at this point Mrs Johnson, I'd recommend getting a new husband!'

'No Mam. The service charge does not include a change of oil.'

Garage "Now then, squire, what would you like first - the bad news, or the really, really bad news?"

'We must improve our level of service.'