Automotive Technicians Gifts

"You must be new on the job."

There's no such thing as a triple carburetor bypass!

'My electric car is giving me static!'

Mechanic looking under the hood of a car.

"Would you please step into the garage? Your car and I need to have a word with you."

"Take me to your mechanic."

Driverless cars rage.

"Somehow, they get exempted from a lot of laws."

'Well, the good news is; You won't need to tax and insure it.'

It's only firing on 87 cylinders!

"You might be interested in our encounter group for people with transmission problems."

Wow. Totaled. Teen Test Dummy.

'This is Onstar, how may I help you?'

'I said they're good, but expensive.'

"They retired me. Just like that. Seems I'm no good over 55 mph anymore." "How does that make you feel?" "Like I want to bash my head against a wall!"

'According to the diagnostic computer, your problems are due to El Nino.'

CLEAR!

"We'll get there when we get there!"

Rodin's Cattle-Grid

'Take us to your crash test facilities. We're here to liberate our compatriots!'

'I think I've isolated that funny noise you've been having.'

Organic Soldering.

"So this is what you want? This is why after school, almost every day, you spend all your extra free time working at the auto store?"

"If I were a surgeon, Mr. Ferguson, which I ain't, and your car was my patient, which it ain't—except that it is, in a funny sort of way; that is, if you want to look at it like that; you know what I mean—and you was her husband, I'd have to say, 'Sir, your wife is going to need a valve job.,"

'I tell you what: If it weren't for the headrest, I would have serious whiplash right now...'

"I've narrowed the problem down to somewhere under this big flap I discovered."

'A 50's vintage automobile...a billiards room. YOu, my firend, have got it all.'

"We located the hissing noise, Mr. Watkins. Your wife's mother is in the back seat."

'Rats, I don't think we'll ever get this thing going: It's flooded again...'

'You got clowns in your engine. That's what's making them funny noises.'

The Small Business Advisor: 'The first bit of advice I'd give you for your garage start-up is to tell your dad'

"Nothing serious - just some twenties stuck in your crankshaft."

'I'm sorry, but I don't know anything about external combustion engines.'

Kid about scratched up car to dad: 'I made a mistake washing the car with a brillo pad.'

The less popular 'Even Smarter Car'.