Auto Service Technician Gifts

"I recommend the Safety-M2000. It's just loud enough to warn people you're coming."

OK, let me try to explain it to you this way.

'My electric car is giving me static!'

There's no such thing as a triple carburetor bypass!

"Would you please step into the garage? Your car and I need to have a word with you."

Mechanic looking under the hood of a car.

"Take me to your mechanic."

'I said they're good, but expensive.'

'This is Onstar, how may I help you?'

'Well, the good news is; You won't need to tax and insure it.'

It's only firing on 87 cylinders!

"You might be interested in our encounter group for people with transmission problems."

Organic Soldering.

"So this is what you want? This is why after school, almost every day, you spend all your extra free time working at the auto store?"

"If I were a surgeon, Mr. Ferguson, which I ain't, and your car was my patient, which it ain't—except that it is, in a funny sort of way; that is, if you want to look at it like that; you know what I mean—and you was her husband, I'd have to say, 'Sir, your wife is going to need a valve job.,"

'According to the diagnostic computer, your problems are due to El Nino.'

CLEAR!

'I think I've isolated that funny noise you've been having.'

'I tell you what: If it weren't for the headrest, I would have serious whiplash right now...'

"I've narrowed the problem down to somewhere under this big flap I discovered."

'A 50's vintage automobile...a billiards room. YOu, my firend, have got it all.'

"We located the hissing noise, Mr. Watkins. Your wife's mother is in the back seat."

'Rats, I don't think we'll ever get this thing going: It's flooded again...'

The Small Business Advisor: 'The first bit of advice I'd give you for your garage start-up is to tell your dad'

'You got clowns in your engine. That's what's making them funny noises.'

Kid about scratched up car to dad: 'I made a mistake washing the car with a brillo pad.'

Is this for wiping greasy hands?

"Nothing serious - just some twenties stuck in your crankshaft."

'If I was this car I wouldn't let you in the drivers seat!'

Dave's Discount Auto Repair...only an arm or a leg, not both!

"It took a lot of work to build this car..."

"2 for 1 special: Clean, polish, buff, seal"

'I'm sorry, but I don't know anything about external combustion engines.'

"Good news...turns out it was just your battery!"

Cars feeding at a gas tanker on the side of the road