Auto Repairman Gifts

'If the squeaky wheel gets the grease, what's the greasy wheel get?'

"Looks like you ran over a porcupine."

"My engine is knocking really loud."

"My car is starting to take after my husband-- It's making a lot of strange sounds and strange smells."

'The plumber said he can't come right now, but promised to put us on his 'wading list'. Cute, huh?'

There's no such thing as a triple carburetor bypass!

STRIP Hambone: Fix it yourself

"Take me to your mechanic."

'I said they're good, but expensive.'

It's only firing on 87 cylinders!

'You're using 14' nails on a 2' door? This is definitely a case where bigger is not better.'

"You might be interested in our encounter group for people with transmission problems."

'Well, the good news is; You won't need to tax and insure it.'

'It's O.K. Charlie - you can relax. The T.V. repairman said, 'it can be fixed!''

Prepare to meet thy mechanic.

'I found what was making those funny noises.'

Organic Soldering.

CLEAR!

"If I were a surgeon, Mr. Ferguson, which I ain't, and your car was my patient, which it ain't—except that it is, in a funny sort of way; that is, if you want to look at it like that; you know what I mean—and you was her husband, I'd have to say, 'Sir, your wife is going to need a valve job.,"

'We finished all the repairs in the cafeteria kitchen this morning, but the food still tastes lousy.'

"So this is what you want? This is why after school, almost every day, you spend all your extra free time working at the auto store?"

'I tell you what: If it weren't for the headrest, I would have serious whiplash right now...'

"I've narrowed the problem down to somewhere under this big flap I discovered."

'A 50's vintage automobile...a billiards room. YOu, my firend, have got it all.'

'Rats, I don't think we'll ever get this thing going: It's flooded again...'

The Small Business Advisor: 'The first bit of advice I'd give you for your garage start-up is to tell your dad'

"Nothing serious - just some twenties stuck in your crankshaft."

Dave's Discount Auto Repair...only an arm or a leg, not both!

Is this for wiping greasy hands?

"Have you tried turning it on and off again..?"

Kid about scratched up car to dad: 'I made a mistake washing the car with a brillo pad.'

'So you still can't get a sound engineer then?'

'I'm sorry, but I don't know anything about external combustion engines.'

Fixing the TV.

'If I was this car I wouldn't let you in the drivers seat!'