Auto Repair Specialist Gifts

'The rust problem turned out to be more extensive than we expected.'

'You need a new bobbin.'

'Oh come on, a little touch up paint and a soft cloth, I can buff that out.'

'The dealer says the warranty is good for the life of the car but he's not responsible if the vehicle doesn't live very long.'

'Those winter tires you sold me don't work!!'

Rust test in progress.

"When was the last time you started her up?"

"Clydesdale here is our specialist in funny little noises."

'Bad news: It's lemon juice!'

'Before we can do any work on your car, we'll have to run a diagnostic test on your wallet.'

'Here's your estimate. Still think it's a funny noise?'

'Well, it wasn't the motor -- I'll try replacing the other stuff.'

'Edward the car won't start!'

Regular servicing protects your warranty, and your family from psycho mechanics.

'No, I didn't choke it..... but I kicked it!'

'We found the trouble, your GPS was picking up a public TV station.'

"I can fit you in Yesterday."

Doug's Auto Repair...Fast! Dependable! Inexpensive!: 'Oh, that small print - it says, 'PICK ONE'.'

'And that smash mark on the left was made by Mr. Lopez when we showed him his $1,200 bill for a brake job.'

Old fashioned cars.

"What would you like to hear first? The bad news or the 'makes the bad news look good' news?"

LOUIE'S GARAGE, 'I can go along with replacing the carburetor and the battery, but what's this $128.43 fcor a 'new warp nacelle'?'

Dave's Discount Auto Repair...only an arm or a leg, not both!

'It's your tie-rods. I've got to order new ones from Thailand.'

'I understand you cover the deductible?'

"We're reviewing the security tape to see if you made it into the garage before the warranty ended."

Toy repair.

"The bank gave me one of those 'start up' loans."

'I've tried, but the 'Car Guys' have my phone number blocked.'

'If it doesn't have a computer, we can't fix it.'

'Sorry, but your Yugo needs imported parts, and Yugoslavia is gone.'

'If I was this car I wouldn't let you in the drivers seat!'

Blame Joe Manchin for Everything

Bob's Auto Body Repair: Brake special! $39.99 + tax

Auto Repair. And how about some new wiper blades, Senator? I notice a lack of transparency.