Auto Repair Gifts

Well, the car's computer say it's YOU who won't start, runs rough, and back fires on acceleration.

"I'm getting this irritating little 'tap, tap' sound somewhere behind the dashboard."

'It's broke. I could fix it, but then you'd be broke.'

'It's my car now, but as soon as it's fixed, it'll be my daughter's again.'

'Oh I could fix it for under fifty bucks, but I just couldn't live with myself knowing that someday you might need a whole new engine.'

'Don't bother rotating the tires. They rotated on their own all the way here.'

"I didn't ignore the check engine light. I kept checking the engine and it was right there!"

'The only way to survive in the current economy is to diversify.'

'The rust problem turned out to be more extensive than we expected.'

'You need a new bobbin.'

A vintage car being fixed by a mechanic underneath.

'Oh come on, a little touch up paint and a soft cloth, I can buff that out.'

'The dealer says the warranty is good for the life of the car but he's not responsible if the vehicle doesn't live very long.'

'Well, THERE'S your problem.'

"I've narrowed the problem down to somewhere under this big flap I discovered."

'Whoever 'pre-owned' your car pre-wore it out.'

'Before we can do any work on your car, we'll have to run a diagnostic test on your wallet.'

Psychic Car Mechanics.

"Ten percent off if you repeat those funny noises your car is making for the boys."

'When I finish looking here I'll give you a list of what I need.'

Support groups for car repairs.

"When was the last time you started her up?"

'Would you do that noise that your car makes on more time...it's hilarious!'

"It's your oil.....it needs a new car!"

'And that's just an estimate sir!'

'We auto mechanics get no respect!'

'That charge is for my accountant because this job is going to put me in a higher tax bracket.'

'Well, it wasn't the motor -- I'll try replacing the other stuff.'

Car Dentistry.

"Still won't start?"

'If I were you, I'd leave the keys in the ignition and hope someone steals it.'

'We think of our estimates as merely a quest for the truth.'

Car mechanic using his limbs to lift the vehicle.

'That estimate Sir, was a brazen lie. The botter truth comes later.'

"I can't get into specifics about your bill - that's operational."