Car Repairs Gifts

'Before I give you the bill, I'm supposed to ask if you'd like me to buy you dinner first.'

Man at Muffler Shop sees door sign: 'Exhausted'.

'Oops-sie.' (Car jacked through the ceiling).

'This isn't a bill, it's a ransom note!'

Mechanic to man: 'Let's just say that it needs a battery with citric acid.'

"Can you give me a rough idea of how much over the top your estimate will be?"

"My name is Leonard, and I'll be your auto mechanic for today."

"If it weren't for our fine workmanship, your car would have fallen apart before the warranty expired, instead of the day after."

'Could you let it down a little, dear? Mother can't see what's going on.'

Garage "Now then, squire, what would you like first - the bad news, or the really, really bad news?"

'I dated him to get my car repaired, but he turned out to be a quantum mechanic.'

"The priest will be over in 10 minutes to give it last rights."

It's only firing on 87 cylinders!

"Who's got the convertible with the top that won't go up?"

"That's the problem with imports. Most of them come from another country."

"Murchison’s theory is that it’s dog hair in your fuel line.”

'Can we afford you to save us money by repairing the car yourself...?'

"Would you please step into the garage? Your car and I need to have a word with you."

"Because when you go first nobody else has any fun, that's why."

"Take me to your mechanic."

'You change him, and I'll change the tire.'

'I said they're good, but expensive.'

'Well, the good news is; You won't need to tax and insure it.'

"You might be interested in our encounter group for people with transmission problems."

CLEAR!

Organic Soldering.

'Rats, I don't think we'll ever get this thing going: It's flooded again...'

Auto parts, Lite Puff Pastries, & Health Insurance Exchange.

The Small Business Advisor: 'The first bit of advice I'd give you for your garage start-up is to tell your dad'

'If I was this car I wouldn't let you in the drivers seat!'

"You're developing a nice, rich compost down here."

'I'm sorry, but I don't know anything about external combustion engines.'

"2 for 1 special: Clean, polish, buff, seal"

When Tia Carmen says... "A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner" it means "I can fix it with a hammer."

Is this for wiping greasy hands?