Automobile Repair Gifts

"That metallic grinding means her throwout bearings are shot. She's backfiring through her carburetor. The tick indicates transmission trouble, and the smoke means she's on fire."

'Drat! I better take her in. The check engine light just went off.'

"I don't know what's wrong, but, if you open and close the hood like this, it looks like your car is talking."

Rust test in progress.

'Hey, Earl, do we stock the rear end for a '57 Caucasan?'

'Rats, I don't think we'll ever get this thing going: It's flooded again...'

Car crash.

'This may take more work than we thought.'

'Not the repair manual. Bring me the book of mechanics' curse words.'

'You are to bring in the whole tractor, not just the part being recalled.'

"Can you check the heated drivers seat."

'Your car's ready, but drive carefully for awhile. I had to give the student an 'F' for the work he did on it.'

'New right wing panel, £450.'

Amino acid. Shampoo with amino acid, I said, not battery acid.

"We did everything possible, doc, but I'm afraid your car passed away during the night!"

'Would Sir like his squeak to be pleasing?'

'They don't make cars like this any more -- the country that built them disappeared.'

Car Repairs.

'Automobilia Now: Lemon and Lemonaid.

Daddy is busy right now. Why don't you ask your cell phone?

"There's no charge—the grinding sound you hear when you're driving is coming from your wife's teeth."

"Hi Tom, it's Earl at the garage. It looks like you've got salsa in your crankcase."

'Can we afford you to save us money by repairing the car yourself...?'

"Would you please step into the garage? Your car and I need to have a word with you."

"Take me to your mechanic."

"I'd like a new tire for my 1976 Chevy Chevette."

'I said they're good, but expensive.'

It's only firing on 87 cylinders!

'Well, the good news is; You won't need to tax and insure it.'

"You might be interested in our encounter group for people with transmission problems."

CLEAR!

Organic Soldering.

'I found what was making those funny noises.'

Prepare to meet thy mechanic.

"I've narrowed the problem down to somewhere under this big flap I discovered."