Car Repair Gifts

'The only way to survive these days is to diversify.'

"I'm having a little difficulty adjusting. The last place I worked was a lot bigger."

'Ah, there's the problem. I was swearing at the right part, but using the wrong words.'

'D.N.A. tests show that the fuel pump doesn't belong to this car.'

'Sorry about that, sir. The decimal point was in the wrong place.'

'Robert likes to watch the mechanic as he works.'

"Good news...turns out it was just your battery!"

A King, a Queen, and a Jack fixing a flat tire.

'Bob, call you back. A big auto body job just drove in.'

"They don't build them like this any more. Heck, why would they?"

"John isn't very mechanical."

'Never, Ever...plan to pay for just an oil change when you take your car to the shop.'

DAVE'S GARAGE, 'Sorry, pal, but we found a typo in your warranty.'

"You've been under that car for hours, dear, and you promised to go shopping with me!"

'Your radiator is leaking. Don't worry, I can patch it up with stem cells.'

'Can we afford you to save us money by repairing the car yourself...?'

'Bad news, Dr. Treemont...It needs an engine transplant.'

"The problem is there's no engine. Just a mysterious plot device."

'Is this for wiping greasy hands? No, it's your itemized bill.'

"Having trouble stopping huh? Ah well, them's the brakes."

"Excuse me...is this the right steering fluid for my car?"

'I couldn't fix the brakes, so I made your horn louder.'

'Is this the small engines class?'

"Today, we're learning how to change a flat tire."

'That charge is for amy accountant because this job is going to put me in a higher tax bracket.'

The Small Business Advisor: 'The first bit of advice I'd give you for your garage start-up is to tell your dad'

'Mac, when are we going to get the pickup truck fixed?'

'It gets me from A to B alright but it won't get me from B back to A!!'

'If it doesn't have a computer, we can't fix it.'

"It would be easier to tell you what does work. It's your air freshener!"

"I know what I'm talking about. That battery is dead."

"I can fix it ??" but it will cost you a fortune."

"I figured out why your car was pulling to the right."

Everything makes a noise except the hooter!

"I'm done fixing your wheel, but these were left over when I got it put back together."