Automobile Maintenance Gifts

"You need orthopedic brake shoes"

'Never, Ever...plan to pay for just an oil change when you take your car to the shop.'

"Your car won't be ready until it changes it's attitude."

"Everybody's a comedian. When I asked the clerk if he had this size bolt, he laughed and asked, 'What are you - some kind of nut?'"

"Oh, no... I don't think it's just an oil change this time!"

'Well, if I have a short circuit, just lengthen it.'

Checking the oil in a car.

Car Trouble.

Checking Oil.

"Let it run slow. I love to hear the gurgle and splash."

'Sorry, but your Yugo needs imported parts, and Yugoslavia is gone.'

Bubba gets Carpal Funnel Syndrome.

"She's family."

"Would you please step into the garage? Your car and I need to have a word with you."

Mechanic looking under the hood of a car.

"Because when you go first nobody else has any fun, that's why."

Deflator mouse

"Take me to your mechanic."

"You might be interested in our encounter group for people with transmission problems."

It's only firing on 87 cylinders!

'Well, the good news is; You won't need to tax and insure it.'

'I said they're good, but expensive.'

'You change him, and I'll change the tire.'

Organic Soldering.

'Rats, I don't think we'll ever get this thing going: It's flooded again...'

'You raised the price of air to 50c!' 'Inflation.'

Auto parts, Lite Puff Pastries, & Health Insurance Exchange.

'Well OF COURSE I rotate the tires! How do you think I got here?'

"2 for 1 special: Clean, polish, buff, seal"

Is this for wiping greasy hands?

'I'm sorry, but I don't know anything about external combustion engines.'

"You're developing a nice, rich compost down here."

'If I was this car I wouldn't let you in the drivers seat!'

'Wilbur took really, really good care of his car.'

"Good news...turns out it was just your battery!"