Vehicle Maintenance Gifts

"I'm your problem."

'You raised the price of air to 50c!' 'Inflation.'

'For $10.95 can I interest you in our deluxe wash and wax?'

'This is more than the estimate.'

'Do you cover the deductible?'

'We can't be sure, but we think your car is faking it.'

Mechanic looking under the hood of a car.

'Oops-sie.' (Car jacked through the ceiling).

'I could remove the rust,but then what would you drive.'

'If I were you, I'd leave the keys in the ignition and hope someone steals it.'

'Wilbur took really, really good care of his car.'

"I didn't know you owned a black car."

Deflator mouse

"Turn down the bass."

"Often, it's sullen and withdrawn, and then, suddenly, it becomes hostile and vengeful."

"Off hand, I'd say your bumpy ride is due to your tires, but just to be sure, I'll run a bunch of computer diagnostics."

Trading Places.

'We couldn't find anything wrong with your car, so all you owe us is for 2 hours of search.'

Acme Flyswatters.

Dirty van with www.washme.com on the back.

"Added a new catalytic converter, upped the horse power, and installed a new intake system... but we still can't get rid of the clown."

"Yup, brakes are shot. Lemme check to see if I have any size ten in stock."

"Sorry kid, we got a flat down the road and are going to need that tire."

Internal Combustion.

'It's got cancer.'

When did you last have your oil changed?

"Can you check the heated drivers seat."

It's only firing on 87 cylinders!

"Don't you ever run off again to get your oil changed without telling me."

Checking tires at the garage.

Radiata Neglectus

'It's not legal to drive anywhere, but it looks good in the driveway.'

'If I was this car I wouldn't let you in the drivers seat!'

"Is there anything I should know before buying these?"

"These colder temperatures always cause my tire pressure to drop—it's a good thing I stopped to check." Peter finally grows up.