Automotive Maintenance Gifts

"Fa-la-la-la-la,la-labor $95 an hour."

'The only service I could give this would be a funeral service.'

"Good news...turns out it was just your battery!"

"How would you like to pay? Cash, VISA or endowment mortgage?"

'It's a British car. Needs braces.'

"Would you please step into the garage? Your car and I need to have a word with you."

10-Minute Oil Change and 2-Hour Wait.

'Looks like there's a problem with the cat' converter!'

"Having trouble stopping huh? Ah well, them's the brakes."

"The vibration may be a drive shaft problem – or opportunity."

'Don't do that, Mom...Dad will be home soon.'

I've got my antifreeze.

Travel Pills.

'I told you to wind up your windows!'

"This is ridiculous. $2.50 to air up a tire. Inflation is even affecting inflation."

Have you installed the heater?

Mechanic checking oil.

'You are right, Lady. Your brakes are bad.'

'You're a quart low.'

'I'll say this for it - It keeps him out of the house.'

Garage "Now then, squire, what would you like first - the bad news, or the really, really bad news?"

Man scraping the snow off his car greets neighbour who is scrapping off advertisements.

Motor Co - It's from Head Office, we've all got to be Crypton tuned.

'Oh well, I had to take it in to get the oil changed anyway.'

'Yes,we can get it off but it will cost a little extra.'

I hate to tell you this, but that's a can of maple syrup, not motor oil.

"You again?"

Mechanic looking under the hood of a car.

Deflator mouse

"Because when you go first nobody else has any fun, that's why."

"Take me to your mechanic."

'You change him, and I'll change the tire.'

It's only firing on 87 cylinders!

Organic Soldering.

"If I were a surgeon, Mr. Ferguson, which I ain't, and your car was my patient, which it ain't—except that it is, in a funny sort of way; that is, if you want to look at it like that; you know what I mean—and you was her husband, I'd have to say, 'Sir, your wife is going to need a valve job.,"