Auto Repair Pillows

Well, the car's computer say it's YOU who won't start, runs rough, and back fires on acceleration.

'It's broke. I could fix it, but then you'd be broke.'

'It's my car now, but as soon as it's fixed, it'll be my daughter's again.'

'Oh I could fix it for under fifty bucks, but I just couldn't live with myself knowing that someday you might need a whole new engine.'

'The only way to survive in the current economy is to diversify.'

'Don't bother rotating the tires. They rotated on their own all the way here.'

"I didn't ignore the check engine light. I kept checking the engine and it was right there!"

'You need a new bobbin.'

A vintage car being fixed by a mechanic underneath.

'The dealer says the warranty is good for the life of the car but he's not responsible if the vehicle doesn't live very long.'

'Oh come on, a little touch up paint and a soft cloth, I can buff that out.'

'Well, THERE'S your problem.'

'Whoever 'pre-owned' your car pre-wore it out.'

"When was the last time you started her up?"

'Would you do that noise that your car makes on more time...it's hilarious!'

'Before we can do any work on your car, we'll have to run a diagnostic test on your wallet.'

'When I finish looking here I'll give you a list of what I need.'

"Ten percent off if you repeat those funny noises your car is making for the boys."

Psychic Car Mechanics.

Support groups for car repairs.

"Still won't start?"

"It's your oil.....it needs a new car!"

Car Dentistry.

'We auto mechanics get no respect!'

'And that's just an estimate sir!'

'That charge is for my accountant because this job is going to put me in a higher tax bracket.'

'Well, it wasn't the motor -- I'll try replacing the other stuff.'

"I can't get into specifics about your bill - that's operational."

"When you picked up your car, Mr. Ferguson, after we did the hoses, did you see Luther's shoes?"

"It will cost $1,200 to fix that dent...or I could just make an identical dent on the other side for $19.99."

'Hey, Ruby, want to give this guy an estimate?'

'If I were you, I'd leave the keys in the ignition and hope someone steals it.'

"When are visiting hours?"

'No, lets take this battery. It has a longer warranty.'

Mechanic's workshop.