Auto Mechanic Gifts

"Fa-la-la-la-la,la-labor $95 an hour."

Leon's Auto Salvage and Center for Interpretive Dance

Brakes are fine. You need new glasses.

'When I ask what our inventory is 'What ever' is not an acceptable answer.'

'You won't hear that funny noise anymore. I turned up the volume on your radio and pulled off the knob.'

'I tell you what: If it weren't for the headrest, I would have serious whiplash right now...'

"It makes a loud grinding sound whenever I merge onto the highway."

And could you put in a louder horn?'

'Don't bother rotating the tires. They rotated on their own all the way here.'

'The only way to survive in the current economy is to diversify.'

"I'm having a little difficulty adjusting. The last place I worked was a lot bigger."

Tune up $90. Tinker $20.

"Did you try unplugging it and plugging it back in?"

'Did I mention the gas mileage?!'

'I just love the snow, everything is so peaceful!'

'No pep, shaky, noisy, overheating. Right. Anything wrong with the car?'

"Can it be ready by noon? My daughter's getting married. I was hoping to drive her down the aisle."

'That'll be $327.93 for parts, $268.58 for labor and $50 because I didn't like the station you had your radio set to.'

A vintage car being fixed by a mechanic underneath.

'We'll have to check your car for pre-existing conditions.'

'I tell you what: If it weren't for the headrest, I would have serious whiplash right now...'

'It's an American classic, with parts from Japan and Canada and assembled in Mexico.'

Flats Fixed

Cars feeding at a gas tanker on the side of the road

A King, a Queen, and a Jack fixing a flat tire.

'We've run all the tests doc and I can't find a thing wrong with it. It must be psychological.'

'I wonder what the telematics will make of this.'

'We've run all the tests, Doc, and can't find a thing wrong with it. It must b e psychological.'

During a snowfall, it's always best to slow down a bit.

'A 50's vintage automobile...a billiards room. YOu, my firend, have got it all.'

"Ten percent off if you repeat those funny noises your car is making for the boys."

'I plan on becoming an auto mechanic when I grow up. Would you settle for an estimate?'

The American Nightmare.

Ed's Auto Repair

'The car isn't making funny noises...you are.'