Shop Manager Gifts

Sign reads: Customer service - Ring bell to be noticed.

Consumer Complaints.

'Unfortunately my staff are now all working flexitime.'

'It's going to be all right, sir. Just slow down and tell me how long you've been lost.'

"I'm putting my trust in you, Colin..."

"But I actually wanted something specific...!"

Shop manager drives digger to remove persistent magazine readers

'This is your customer number, a number that's all your own and identifies you as a person to us.'

''Wait till they've gone, then quietly clean the windows', I said - But you won't be told!'

Cut Price

'Akme sales' 'out for a spiel'

Bargains.

'I wanted my new sign to be noticeable.'

'Perhaps it would be easier if you reached up and passed the item to the customer, Colin!'

Complaints: 'And another thing...!'

Sales Clerk tricks woman into an instant merchandise exchange.

'Hypermarket' and 'Chill Market'.

Dresses. I work here and they give me a discount. Ah, "smock options"!

Customer Avoidance Dept.

'I know you are, but what am I?'

'Welcome to our store,,,now take me to your leader'

'At least try and be a bit discreet when we have a spillage.'

Shop Manager Tries To Disguise His Inability to Use the Cash Register.

Orderly Conduct of Sales

"Good For You / Bad For You"

'That's it then - I'll take the slinky high-heeled cocktail number in a 5 and the everyday workshoe in a 7...'

"Freudian, Jungian, Adlerian – none of it compares to retail therapy."

"Excuse me, I'm here to do some sole searching."

Kid with messed up project in Wood Shop, titled: 'Wouldn't Shop'

I hate deer! What do you have to repel them? They're awful. I've got fences. Sprays. Decoys. Tree's Tree Nursery. I'll takes these. Anything to get rid of the varmints. Ring him up, Twig. I don't know why you are so down on deer. They've been very good to you! Anti-deer.

"This is daring, but I like it."

"This is a clever little shop. It makes you think it would be fun to own a lamp."

Organic Produce: No Pesticides, Herbicides or Bad Vibes.

"We're odd looking but just as good."

'If you're having trouble finding what you want, try our other store--'Cabernet Sauvignons Starting with the Letter B'.'