Showroom Manager Gifts

"I'll take any model here so long as it's got a full tank."

"Good For You / Bad For You"

'That's it then - I'll take the slinky high-heeled cocktail number in a 5 and the everyday workshoe in a 7...'

"Meet the embellisher 3-5 pm"

Cut Price

"Excuse me, I'm here to do some sole searching."

"Too 'Book of Genesis'?"

I hate deer! What do you have to repel them? They're awful. I've got fences. Sprays. Decoys. Tree's Tree Nursery. I'll takes these. Anything to get rid of the varmints. Ring him up, Twig. I don't know why you are so down on deer. They've been very good to you! Anti-deer.

Organic Produce: No Pesticides, Herbicides or Bad Vibes.

'If you're having trouble finding what you want, try our other store--'Cabernet Sauvignons Starting with the Letter B'.'

"We're odd looking but just as good."

Instant Laundry Detergent, 'Just add water'.

'Kix? Yes, Ma'am -- you can get your Kix on aisle 66.'

"Our business is based on breakthroughs."

Never tell the boss "You can count on me" during inventory.

"The only thing that's not gone up is the pound."

"Store policy is that I need a note from your wife."

'Bread, milk, cereal, sugar, sausage, potatoes, beans, biscuits. Click! So easy, but I do miss the sexy till lady.'

Stationery Shop

Price may vary with weather.

"You can't find the menswear department? Oh, I'm sorry, Sir- I was standing in front of it."

'Do you have any golf balls that are not attracted to water, sand or trees?'

"It's difficult to attract a younger customer when our main demographic is babies."

"I'd say business was brisk."

Where Ignorance is Bliss.

"I know I should have gotten a cart, but I can't give up now."

Orderly Conduct of Sales

"I think he said he wants to buy 'just the one'. You'd better fetch the manager"

"That should read $20.00. I'd make the correction, but I don't want to be accused of price-fixing."

'They're both nice - which can you ill afford least?'

SupermarketAwful Market.

"It goes from the factory to us in $29,500."

Sports Memorabilia: Help wanted-losers need not apply.

Office Supplies: New and improved motivational posters, now with 25% more inspiration.

Low Hanging Fruit