Clothing Store Manager Gifts

'When we said 'One size fits all' we didn't mean all at the same time.'

'Overnight delivery of 500 'I survived the tornado' T-shirts!'

"He's about my height but he doesn't have my build."

"Too 'Book of Genesis'?"

'See if they have another blouse. This one has a little stain.'

"Do you have one with a buckle that swashes?"

'That's it then - I'll take the slinky high-heeled cocktail number in a 5 and the everyday workshoe in a 7...'

"Meet the embellisher 3-5 pm"

"Excuse me, I'm here to do some sole searching."

I hate deer! What do you have to repel them? They're awful. I've got fences. Sprays. Decoys. Tree's Tree Nursery. I'll takes these. Anything to get rid of the varmints. Ring him up, Twig. I don't know why you are so down on deer. They've been very good to you! Anti-deer.

'If you're having trouble finding what you want, try our other store--'Cabernet Sauvignons Starting with the Letter B'.'

"So, do you want balls that only go up, or ones that only go down?"

Never tell the boss "You can count on me" during inventory.

'Bread, milk, cereal, sugar, sausage, potatoes, beans, biscuits. Click! So easy, but I do miss the sexy till lady.'

Toys were me: lessons learned never growing up

"Big n' tall" "Small n' long"

"Store policy is that I need a note from your wife."

"You can't find the menswear department? Oh, I'm sorry, Sir- I was standing in front of it."

"Now that's a great number if you want to be protected from the entire environment."

'Pink isn't EITHER the new black!'

"It's difficult to attract a younger customer when our main demographic is babies."

"I think he said he wants to buy 'just the one'. You'd better fetch the manager"

"That should read $20.00. I'd make the correction, but I don't want to be accused of price-fixing."

SupermarketAwful Market.

'They're both nice - which can you ill afford least?'

Self-Checkout.

"Not more sleeve alterations?!"

'A word of advice, the squeaky wheel gets the totally organic, 0 trans-fat, soy-based lubricant.'

Take pity on me. I can't give much this year. What is this heresy, son? I didn't get a raise this year, got furloughed this summer, am behind on my cable bill, can't afford proper dates. But it's the holidays. Think of the needy. Pierre in flat-panels has a new baby. Sandy, the mobile device manager, toils so hard for your business. And don't forget Apple. It's got to make its quarter. Computer Villa. Customer service. I shouldn't just think of myself. That's better. I'd like to upgrade all my d

Office Supplies: New and improved motivational posters, now with 25% more inspiration.

'I've drawn up a health and safety policy for the company.'

Sports Memorabilia: Help wanted-losers need not apply.

'Gents toilet? Ah, got me there...'

"Bye now... it's always nice to see you and little Tommy!"

'Do you have it in black?'