Toy Store Manager Gifts

Toys were me: lessons learned never growing up

"Honey, we can order the new car! Here comes our best customer again!"

"So, do you want balls that only go up, or ones that only go down?"

'That's it then - I'll take the slinky high-heeled cocktail number in a 5 and the everyday workshoe in a 7...'

"Excuse me, I'm here to do some sole searching."

"Too 'Book of Genesis'?"

I hate deer! What do you have to repel them? They're awful. I've got fences. Sprays. Decoys. Tree's Tree Nursery. I'll takes these. Anything to get rid of the varmints. Ring him up, Twig. I don't know why you are so down on deer. They've been very good to you! Anti-deer.

Kar Boot Sale (child's toys).

'If you're having trouble finding what you want, try our other store--'Cabernet Sauvignons Starting with the Letter B'.'

Perks Featured in Vacancy at Toy Company

Never tell the boss "You can count on me" during inventory.

'You say 'boo' she wets herself.'

"Store policy is that I need a note from your wife."

'Bread, milk, cereal, sugar, sausage, potatoes, beans, biscuits. Click! So easy, but I do miss the sexy till lady.'

"You can't find the menswear department? Oh, I'm sorry, Sir- I was standing in front of it."

'...and, of course you get a company car.'

"That should read $20.00. I'd make the correction, but I don't want to be accused of price-fixing."

"I think he said he wants to buy 'just the one'. You'd better fetch the manager"

'They're both nice - which can you ill afford least?'

SupermarketAwful Market.

Self-Checkout.

Sports Memorabilia: Help wanted-losers need not apply.

'Gents toilet? Ah, got me there...'

Office Supplies: New and improved motivational posters, now with 25% more inspiration.

Beatlemania: Open 24/8

Take pity on me. I can't give much this year. What is this heresy, son? I didn't get a raise this year, got furloughed this summer, am behind on my cable bill, can't afford proper dates. But it's the holidays. Think of the needy. Pierre in flat-panels has a new baby. Sandy, the mobile device manager, toils so hard for your business. And don't forget Apple. It's got to make its quarter. Computer Villa. Customer service. I shouldn't just think of myself. That's better. I'd like to upgrade all my d

"Bye now... it's always nice to see you and little Tommy!"

'A word of advice, the squeaky wheel gets the totally organic, 0 trans-fat, soy-based lubricant.'

Jack-in-the-Box Enterprises.

"Will you only promise the children toys that can be brought at this store?"

The Pied Piper in a computer shop.

"This one comes with a special undo function for erasing any stupid thing you've done or said in your entire life. It doesn't really work, of course, but it's SUPER fun to play with!"

"Once you break through the plastic clamshell and blister packs, there won't be any packaging left!"

"Ooh look, the high street's evolved to survive!"

That's my boss for you - a platitude with an attitude.