Clothing Store Staff Gifts

"Something with an elastic waist band."

Mum and baby both have pacifier.

"Too 'Book of Genesis'?"

"Big n' tall" "Small n' long"

Graffiti artists signs his memoirs in bookshop.

Hand sanitizer

'We have a P-O-P display for our new perfume. Can we move the beef jerky down a smidge?'

'These are called, 'Diet Pants.' They'll never fit, but you'll burn 250 calories trying to get into them.'

"Now that's a great number if you want to be protected from the entire environment."

"Fifty quid for a high visibility jacket? Why, that's day-glo robbery."

'Do you have any relaxed fit jeans that aren't quite so relaxed?'

How much would you take off for cash?

Actually, could you just e-mail me your electronic signature? Meet the author.

'Overnight delivery of 500 'I survived the tornado' T-shirts!'

Three tailors block the street, forcing a passerby into their shop.

"December 29, 1991: Janet sacrifices months of self esteem therapy for the perfect New Year's Eve dress." "It's called an 'Everest' gown because it would be a monumental task to squeeze that mountain you call an ass into it."

STRIP "I've tried everywhere to get a new winter court...but all the stores are full of next years summer collections"

'Do you have clothes for winning the lottery?'

Children line up to talk to Santa

"I'm not sure they fully understand the concept of annual stocktaking."

'This must be the work clothes section.'

"Building fund not going well, Reverend?"

I'm sorry sir, store rules. No 'Stairway to Heaven'.

"We find putting the customer first works for us!"

Abuse or harassment of staff will not be tolerated

"Just groceries? Oh I see..."

"I'd like to buy a book-mark."

"We should have copies of all the latest manifestos Sir. Try the horror, fantasy and science fiction section."

Staff Only

'I was fired from my last job for making too many bloomers. And I've just been fired from this one for not making enough!'

'When we said 'One size fits all' we didn't mean all at the same time.'

"And this, gentlemen, is what one of our typical American workers looks before he gets fired!"

'Can you help me find a book I saw here a few months ago? It was a hardcover...and...lots of pages inside. Do you have any like that?'

'I need a new scent.'

Summer of 2020