Clothing Store Assistant Gifts

'Something with an elastic waist band.'

'That's it then - I'll take the slinky high-heeled cocktail number in a 5 and the everyday workshoe in a 7...'

"Too 'Book of Genesis'?"

"This is daring, but I like it."

"Look! I'm going to be a customer!"

'My diet seems to be working great! Do you have any less relaxed jeans?'

Sale on Bathing Suits, One Size Fits None.

"Big n' tall" "Small n' long"

'Bread, milk, cereal, sugar, sausage, potatoes, beans, biscuits. Click! So easy, but I do miss the sexy till lady.'

'You say 'boo' she wets herself.'

'These are called, 'Diet Pants.' They'll never fit, but you'll burn 250 calories trying to get into them.'

"I know I should have gotten a cart, but I can't give up now."

"Now that's a great number if you want to be protected from the entire environment."

Penguin suit fitting.

How would Madam like to pay?

"Got any cards saying friendship is priceless under 5 bucks?"

'Gents toilet? Ah, got me there...'

'I assure you madam, that the uglification factor of this mirror is no greater than the nationally accepted one-to-one standard.'

"Haven't you a small one that would fit into a soldier's pack?"

"At first I thought I'd hate it, but now I have to have it."

We stock ALL sizes...

'I want to buy a self help eBook. Can you help me to download it to my eBook reader?'

'Hold my purse. I'm going in only to complain.'

'I'm a football referee - I'll have a box of red and a box of yellow.'

"Once you break through the plastic clamshell and blister packs, there won't be any packaging left!"

'Do you have any relaxed fit jeans that aren't quite so relaxed?'

Sale on Three Piece Suits, $10, 300 Polyester.

"Arrghh! - I came around the corner and tripped over that sign!"

Shop assistant hands over 'eco' shopping bag, saying: 'Would you like a bag for that?'

'These pajamas come with a flak jacket sewn into the lining to protect against the 'Stop Snoring' elbow in the ribs.'

Checkout for $385.00 or more.

Sold It All.

All Major Cash Honored.

'And it comes with an accompanying dictionary.'

'Overnight delivery of 500 'I survived the tornado' T-shirts!'