Store Assistant Gifts

'Here's what you asked for... 'shoes made in the U.S by adult U.S citizens'... that's going to be $1,795.'

'Do you have this in sheep?'

'It's from our 'One Size Fits None' line.'

"Well,hopefully we only have to wear them for a week or two."

New Shoes.

'Sister, you're out of your mind if you think I'm paying for this.'

"Do you want to see the right size first, or should we work up to it gradually?"

'These pajamas come with a flak jacket sewn into the lining to protect against the 'Stop Snoring' elbow in the ribs.'

'Laugh all you can - then I'll tell you the price!'

Womens dressing rooms.

'Miss, could I try this dress?' 'Only if You pay in advance!'

'What's this about you not having enough time to go to the toilet?'

Shopping Online.

'Lady, you have to quit shopping till you drop!'

"But I actually wanted something specific...!"

'I like the blue one. It'll look good tossed on the floor near the bed.'

"They are so cute, and anything has to be more comfortable than these. Where did you get them?"

Which way to menswear?

'Looks like madam's in luck. Perhaps she can find something in the new shipment just coming in.'

'I said do you have any books on anger management?!'

'I guess it was inevitable.'

"be embarrassed,modom-lots of people have feet your size..."

'I'm weighing you before you leave.' (overweight man in the supermarket).

Cafe: 'no shoes, no shirt, no service' Clothing store: 'no shirt, no pants...come on in!'

'Still feels too small? Try this one. Maybe your wife is a size 12.'

'I always seem to be straightening...I wonder if my mother is secretly sending in customers.'

'We offer you a free computer, free internet, no ads on your screen and $10,000 cash if you can figure out the hook.'

'Hold my purse. I'm going in only to complain.'

"She's overdoing our customer satisfaction policy!"

New Shoes.

'Looks like Madam's in luck. Perhaps she can find something in the new shipment just coming in'

'Well I'm not too sure about the suit... but I'll definitely take the mirror.'

'Walter just retired after 37 years at the shoe store.'

Man catching drips from ceiling with waterproof boot.

Elephant rejects bikini in dressing room to salesperson.