Showroom Strategist Gifts

'Our motto is, 'We'll do anything to sell a car!' but he really means it.'

"This is a clever little shop. It makes you think it would be fun to own a lamp."

Omar Khayyam Meets Trader Joe

"He was the one everyone called 'The Greatest.' Then one day, a stranger turned up in town."

Only One Item or Fewer.

"No, we can't get you a new toy every time we go shopping."

"Store policy is that I need a note from your wife."

'We have a P-O-P display for our new perfume. Can we move the beef jerky down a smidge?'

"Yes, but I'll know it's a recliner."

Holiday Sales: The Starting Line

'I decided to start buying food in bulk. I hope you're hungry!'

It was a good chance to get together and talk shop.

Shampoo and Salad Dressing.

"I'll throw in a few extra pinstripes."

Diets: Sweets and Biscuits.

"Consumer confidence remains high as long as we keep them distracted buying stuff."

'I've got it written down...'

'Retirement Training Program'"Very good, Larry! Just one more step and you'll have the entire aisle blocked!"

"How will you be paying? Crypto, Venmo, electronic fund transfer, credit card, check, cash, precious metals, brightly colored shells or livestock?"

"I have no idea where we parked the car, or why we exist."

Artificial Isle

"Eeny, meeny, miney, mo.."

'Advanced warning: High cholesterol 10mtrs ahead.'

"Class, welcome back Sean ... who, you may recall, was lost for eight days in Home Depot."

"Why is this cart so heavy?"

'And this one is just today's grocery list from my wife.'

Mom $50 Pop $35

'But what do you sell?'

'Our survey shows there's more confidence in shopping coupons than in the dollar...'

'Our definition of a 'bargain' is right there in the small print.'

"Companies know too much about us, listen...'You've earned 500 points and it's time you got back in touch with your cousin Emma'!"

'I've got one of those wobbly forwards trolleys!'

"That will be $109.85." "What! Sign says they’re $1.69 each." "Yes, and you have 65 of them."

'I'm sure I've forgotten something. I got change from a fifty.'

Women shopping with children in the trolley.