Retail Rockstar Gifts

'When you approach a customer, don't have your hands in your pockets.'

F&E Antiques. Ernie, tell customers that we restocked our inventory, not that we have "all new antiques."

Larry's used art

"I bought it off the therapist who's helping me kick my compulsive shopping disorder."

'We want everyone to remember our name.'

"Excuse me, I'm here to do some sole searching."

"I want something that will make Richard Burton sit up and take notice."

"I think I've found the most comfy jeans."

"They're on special offer so I got three times more than I could ever use for twice as much as I could afford!"

A women in a shoeshop.

Wolf trying on sheep's clothing at a retail store.

"I remember him before he was getting hte winter fuel allowance."

"If the economy's ground to a halt, we can help by carrying on shopping."

'I'd like to return this, please.'

How Amazon was invented

Coming Soon! More Stuff You Could Live Without!

'Tomorrow's special is fish, so wear the flounder suit.'

"Our business is based on breakthroughs."

Hardy Annuals

"Al, you've been chosen Businessman of the Year by the Junior Chamber of Commerce."

Fuzz - Max smashes his guitar.

"See what I mean? It's going to take a bigger diamond."

D.I.Y

Sale.

Liam Gallagher.

'Tesco's cheif executive meets with staff.'

'Let's send her a text message; 'You're FIRED!''

"Where can I find the lefts?"

With the aid of a tactical dictionary, and was finally able to make sense of what the salesman was saying.

A member of a very populous consumer group attempts to go shopping...

"Big n' tall" "Small n' long"

"The Box is bigger, the contents smaller, increased the price and called it improved."

'We have a P-O-P display for our new perfume. Can we move the beef jerky down a smidge?'

"Not much in the way of loot, but we got a ton of store credit."

And this is a little ditty I wrote called 'the third quarters profit and loss account' ...Colin often wished that he'd followed his first love and taken up a career as a musician