Resume Wizard Gifts

'Yes, I suppose certain narrow-minded people would call it a ‘pack of lies' - I prefer to think of it as creative up-selling.'

"When did you say you left school?"

'You might want to strike the term, 'Once upon a time,' from your resume.'

'This resume is incredible. Would you be able to lie this well under pressure?'

'We're looking for someone who either has a good background or can concoct a good story about one.'

Bob finally catches a break.

"Well, this is a very impressive resume, young man. I think you're going to make a fine patient."

"These references are excellent Mr. Canning. But do you have any from someone other than your mother?"

'This resume is incredible. Would you be able to lie this well under pressure?'

"Maybe we were wrong to hire him just because he looks good in paper."

If you are going to fact check my resume, I embellished the part about being an astronaut.

"I see by your resume that you can text 65 wrds a mnt."

Impressive resume.

'Very impressive, but is there anything you can't do?'

"I see by your resume, you don't stay in one place long."

'Your CV is a work of pure fiction...'

'How would like my resume? Slides, internet, webinar, 4 color glossy brochure, classic hardcopy, interpretive dance?'

'Good resume - although the special effects seem a little over-the-top.'

"The missing part of my resume? I took a gap year visiting Rikers Island."

"It was easy padding my resume and bluffing my way into this job. Now the difficult work of lowering their expectations begins."

"Under experience, your resume states "out of body." Please explain!"

"Your CV is absolutely brilliant, I hope it isn't true."

"You inhabit the body of someone who has an impressive résumé."

"On your CV it says you get the Nobel Prize for 'being spectacular', I didn't know there was one for that!"

'i had no idea filling the manager position would be so much fun!'

'How about, 'I am dynamic and results driven.'?' - 'It needs more 'pizazz', more 'sizzle'!' - 'What about, 'I am a dynamic, results driven, innovative, highly motivated team player.'' - 'Almost perfect...' - '...just swap 'team player' for 'chubby little

"You claim on your résumé that one of your skills is staying calm under stressful situations. I believe you."

"Any other references besides your Mother?"

"Your resume is impressive but frankly, the manslaughter charges concern me."

'Your resume is very creative. It's all a crock."

"Before I give you my resume, I'd like to know how thorough you fact check."

"Do you have any other qualifications apart from reaching level 15 on the 'Deathstar of Doom' game?"

"You lied to us. You said you had six years experience."

"Everything on your resume is fabricated...welcome to our law firm!"

"It works best if you're willing to suspend reality."