Curriculum Wizard Gifts

"Just once I'd like to get past the War of 1812 by spring vacation."

'As a beginning teacher, you know you come here prepared to teach and become a good teacher. As you gain experience, you will learn that you also come here to care and become a great teacher.'

Girl does mathematical equation. Man says 'Tut! Teenagers today and their problems ...'

'I started out as a teacher's pet, and then it kind of snowballed.'

'It was bound to happen - they're beginning to think like binary computers.'

'You'll soon get the hang of it - then they'll change it.'

Calculation Board - You Are Here

'Add the numbers, divide by how many numbers you've added and there you have it-the average amount of minutes you sleep in class each day.'

"Yes, we do accept resumes online, but there's more to it than giving me your computer with your resume on it."

"Arithmetic gets a lot harder when you run out of fingers and toes."

'Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who is the fairest algologist of all?'

'It's nothing that a few stem cells and 75 years of research can't fix.'

'The doctor says he's going to have to give you a few more tests...'

'Upgrades? Yes, we've programmed it to excrete a few drops of water if it should lose a chess match. You know - tears.'

"What are you doing? It's Halloween. Not leaving your deliveries to the last minute this year?"

Newton's Cradle Solar System

"You inhabit the body of someone who has an impressive résumé."

He's making a list --- Holmes solves cases quicker when he itemizes deductions.

'Alright, throw in your resume and the 'Get A Job' potion will be complete.'

"I have a huge Algebra final tomorrow. I know I'm gonna fail."

'For pete's sake Walter!! Enough with the tail, I can't read your writing!!'

"You're right -- this town is big enough for the both of us."

Spring To Do List: Teach, Testing, Testing,Test Some More. . .

"If we crunch the numbers, it should have zero calories."

IN OUT UP DOWN AND ALL AROUND

Where did you learn alchemy? Elementary school.

"According to my calculations...school starts in exactly 20 days!"

'Quantum Mechanics is one of the three great pillars supporting our understanding of the natural world.

'Gifted class, indeed. One is gifted in science, but he can't read - one is gifted in reading, but won't even try math...'

'When I registered for this class, in computer programming, nobody told me that it's all about converting caffeine into computer code.'

'Here comes the 64-bit local bus.'

Tech support...can I help you!

"Sit and stay were no problem but she's hit a wall with multivariable calculus.'

'This resume is incredible. Would you be able to lie this well under pressure?'

"Making us more mobile friendly didn't mean letting the general public use our car park, Smithers."