Resume Crafting Wizard Gifts

'According to your resume, you multitask at the four person level. Here, our minimum starts at five.'

Hey, calm down --- Now, what did you say again?

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

"He's having a hard time finding work."

Wishing Well, Wishing Good.

'Your resume is impressive, but next time try to shorten it from 100 pages to one.'

JOIN THE BOY SCOUTS HERE!, ''Trustworthy, friendly, loyal, helpful, kind, courteous, brave, thrifty, obedient and cheerful' -- This is going to look GREAT on my resume!'

'Technically, I was making fun of your writing ability.'

"Yes, we do accept resumes online, but there's more to it than giving me your computer with your resume on it."

'I know my resume makes me seem overtrained, but I really wasn't paying attention.'

"Your CV will be sufficient, Mr. Cooper."

"You inhabit the body of someone who has an impressive résumé."

Job Interview Gone Bad.

Personnel. Any experience in crisis management? No...Just production.

'Alright, throw in your resume and the 'Get A Job' potion will be complete.'

"Are all these letters of recommendation from your mother?"

"Hey, there's Sara, padding her college-entrance résumé!"

"Everything looks real good...except these long gaps in your work history every winter."

'I like the part of your resume where you didn't ask for a raise for 10 years.'

Your resume says you were a waiter...

"Would you like something you're under qualified for, or something you're overqualified for?"

"If I had known this was such a great place to work I would have lied more on my resume."

"We were looking for somebody with experience in mumbo-jumbo but your resume is mainly about gobbledegook."

'He will observe your text now...'

"Tom's writing has been going really well! He's written over 200,000 words. Now he just needs to work out what order to put them in!"

Tweaking the CV.

"Very impressive resume, however you didn't explain why you were tagged and released from your last job."

"Nice touch." - Resume playing music.

'I didn't have time to prepare a resume.'

"I'll have to get someone younger to look at your résumé. I'm not fluent in emoji."

'This resume is incredible. Would you be able to lie this well under pressure?'

"If I'd known you were not looking for experience I wouldn't have lied on my CV."

'Have you got a resume?'

"I can see here on your résumé that you’d like my job ..."