Resume Crafters Gifts

"Nice touch." - Resume playing music.

"So, tell me a little bit more about this house training you mention on your CV."

"He's having a hard time finding work."

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

"It's a heck of a tale...and well told, but we don't publish resumes."

'Your resume is impressive, but next time try to shorten it from 100 pages to one.'

JOIN THE BOY SCOUTS HERE!, ''Trustworthy, friendly, loyal, helpful, kind, courteous, brave, thrifty, obedient and cheerful' -- This is going to look GREAT on my resume!'

"This resumé has the kind of sizzle we're looking for."

Job Interview Gone Bad.

'The grammar's awful and the spelling's atrocious - otherwise it's an impressive CV.'

"But what you call a track record I call ancient history."

'31 years in graphic design eh, so I shouldn't be surprised you've retouched your photo on your CV.'

'You've spelt 'C.V.' wrongly.'

'I like the part of your resume where you didn't ask for a raise for 10 years.'

Tweaking the CV.

"Everything looks real good...except these long gaps in your work history every winter."

"We were looking for somebody with experience in mumbo-jumbo but your resume is mainly about gobbledegook."

"Very impressive resume, however you didn't explain why you were tagged and released from your last job."

Your resume says you were a waiter...

"If I had known this was such a great place to work I would have lied more on my resume."

'I didn't have time to prepare a resume.'

"I'll have to get someone younger to look at your résumé. I'm not fluent in emoji."

'Have you got a resume?'

"It says here you can think on your feet. What happens when you sit down?"

'Qualifications aside, Mr Thumb, this is the cutest resume I've ever seen.'

"I'm fascinated by your résumé, particularly the advertising supplement."

"Your curriculum vitae is extremely detailed, isn't it? I don't quite know what to make of the fact that your third-grade teacher, Miss Hartley, made you stand in the corner for throwing an eraser although another kid did it."

PERSONNEL, 'Any awards or honors OTHER than being the valedictorian of your remedial class?'

'You're not at all qualified. Thanks for coming in and wasting my time. We'll let you know by the end of the week.'

"However, should the need arise at Cyber-Biogenetics, for a trusty sidekick, we have your resume on file."

"You have excellent academic credentials and a wonderful work history but we try not to profile people."

'This test will determinbe which of you gets the position. Who wants to jump first?'

"I've applied the Paper Reduction Act to my resume."

"...and before that, I was an embryo."

"I hope you realise that you'll be starting at the bottom."