Resume Curator Gifts

I'm just sittin ghere updating my resume and recalibrating my expectations.

"Your resume is full of half-truths, sophistry, and thinly veiled lies. You'll be a real asset to this campaign."

'Hurry, wipe it off before Dad comes home!'

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

You're my Mona Lisa.

At the Museum

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

"You've got a long, long road ahead of you, young man."

Squirrels Stockpiling Mulling Spices for Winter

Bird feeding chick that is nesting in a knight's helmet

The Googler

'The way the eyes follow you is uncanny.'

"I'm beginning to regret taking this job at the local playgroup."

'That's about it so far, Son.'

'We're gonna need a bigger moat...!'

'Of all the nerve!...Making us sit through the whole of their Bayeux Tapestries!!'

"It's a postmodern mosaic, almost lyrical in its undercurrent." "My five-year-old will be happy to hear that."

"And this is our media room."

'It's a Joan Biro.'

Physician tending a mummy.

"An unfortunate museum gift shop." "Banksy activity set." "Jackson Pollock coloring book." "MC Escher building blocks." "Claes Oldenburg miniatures." "Marceau Marceau CDs." "Seurat's connect-the-dots aaAAAAA."

"Personally, I'm a doer."

Barcode on Ancient Greek Vase

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

"If it doesn't happen on Facebook, it didn't happen."

"Anachronism or not, it just ain't the fourth without the ribs and Willie Nelson."

'They look more up to date than the ones in your tool-box.'

'Are you sure this is authentic ancient Indian art?'

Schools of Art - A Rough Guide.

Misunderstood artist

TV-Man

Fertility goddess. Nanny goddess.

Video Henge: made from melting and molding 3,000,000 obsolete VCR tapes.

'I'm sure he was a great guy, but there's a new Pharaoh in town.'

"Is it me, or is Jasper Johns a genius?" "Über-genius, Larry. Über!"