Cv Curator Gifts

'Very impressive, but is there anything you can't do?'

Rejected resumes.

"A very impressive resume, I confess I didn't realise there was a Nobel prize for 'being the best at computers and all that stuff'."

'Well, I am only human!' (Human Resources)

'Welcome to the interview for our Post-Doc position, I hope you've brought your publication list...'

"Yes, I suppose attention seeking may be considered by some as an asset, but frankly we need more than that."

'Hurry, wipe it off before Dad comes home!'

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

You're my Mona Lisa.

At the Museum

"Hold it right there, ma'am! If you get too close to the artwork, I'll have to ask you to leave the gallery."

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

"You've got a long, long road ahead of you, young man."

Paul Klee

Bird feeding chick that is nesting in a knight's helmet

"I think he was a celebrity."

'The way the eyes follow you is uncanny.'

The Googler

The Life of Pi

'That's about it so far, Son.'

"I'm beginning to regret taking this job at the local playgroup."

'We're gonna need a bigger moat...!'

'Of all the nerve!...Making us sit through the whole of their Bayeux Tapestries!!'

"It's a postmodern mosaic, almost lyrical in its undercurrent." "My five-year-old will be happy to hear that."

"And this is our media room."

Physician tending a mummy.

"What the %@!!* is that?!" "Is that a leg? Wait—no, it's an arm. Wait—what?" "The frame is nice." "Whatever it is, it makes me miss Bob Ross." "Gasp!" "The intentionally lost Caravaggio"

"An unfortunate museum gift shop." "Banksy activity set." "Jackson Pollock coloring book." "MC Escher building blocks." "Claes Oldenburg miniatures." "Marceau Marceau CDs." "Seurat's connect-the-dots aaAAAAA."

'It's a Joan Biro.'

"Personally, I'm a doer."

Barcode on Ancient Greek Vase

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

"If it doesn't happen on Facebook, it didn't happen."

'They look more up to date than the ones in your tool-box.'

"Anachronism or not, it just ain't the fourth without the ribs and Willie Nelson."