Resume Designer Gifts

"Surely, you remember who your last employer was?"

True, I've seen plenty of padded resumes, but very few bejeweled resumes.

"I've applied the Paper Reduction Act to my resume."

'The wheel was great, but what have you done for me lately?'

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

"I built this tree house for my kids. But it's so private, I've decided to use it as my home office."

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

'C'mon get it straight.'

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

"Good" "Bad" "Work on it" "Keep working - maybe it's not as bad as you think it is" "Put it to a committee" "Give up" "Make it worse" "Make it better" "Still a bad idea" "Overthink it" "Throw yourself into a pit of wild badgers" "Throw it away" "Call it done" "Sigh."

' A good idea '

"Of all the buildings I've designed, it's probably the most handsome."

"He's having a hard time finding work."

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

CLOTHES-HORSES OF THE ART SCENE

'It's not easy being ahead of your time.'

'Smith, we need more creativity. You have to learn to think outside the box.'

What can I do? He says it's his thinking cap.

Empty box of ideas

Needed Inventions: An Airbag To Protect The Viewer Against A Really Lousy Program.

'I guess every team needs a creative renegade.'

Eureka!

Bright idea

Use your imagination.

"In the beginning, God created, like, 300 concept sketches..."

Creative department

Bright Idea

Innovative

"Sorry sir - the self-propelling pencils have all just walked out..."

When Engineers Crack.

'Your resume is impressive, but next time try to shorten it from 100 pages to one.'

'We've re-branded.'

JOIN THE BOY SCOUTS HERE!, ''Trustworthy, friendly, loyal, helpful, kind, courteous, brave, thrifty, obedient and cheerful' -- This is going to look GREAT on my resume!'

'I like it but frankly, I had something more substantial in mind.'

Why Cows Leave Home