Resume Crafters T-Shirts

"Nice touch." - Resume playing music.

"So, tell me a little bit more about this house training you mention on your CV."

"He's having a hard time finding work."

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

"It's a heck of a tale...and well told, but we don't publish resumes."

'Your resume is impressive, but next time try to shorten it from 100 pages to one.'

JOIN THE BOY SCOUTS HERE!, ''Trustworthy, friendly, loyal, helpful, kind, courteous, brave, thrifty, obedient and cheerful' -- This is going to look GREAT on my resume!'

"This resumé has the kind of sizzle we're looking for."

Job Interview Gone Bad.

'The grammar's awful and the spelling's atrocious - otherwise it's an impressive CV.'

"But what you call a track record I call ancient history."

'31 years in graphic design eh, so I shouldn't be surprised you've retouched your photo on your CV.'

'You've spelt 'C.V.' wrongly.'

Tweaking the CV.

"If I had known this was such a great place to work I would have lied more on my resume."

Your resume says you were a waiter...

"Everything looks real good...except these long gaps in your work history every winter."

"Very impressive resume, however you didn't explain why you were tagged and released from your last job."

'I like the part of your resume where you didn't ask for a raise for 10 years.'

"We were looking for somebody with experience in mumbo-jumbo but your resume is mainly about gobbledegook."

'I didn't have time to prepare a resume.'

"I'll have to get someone younger to look at your résumé. I'm not fluent in emoji."

'Have you got a resume?'

'Qualifications aside, Mr Thumb, this is the cutest resume I've ever seen.'

"It says here you can think on your feet. What happens when you sit down?"

"I'm fascinated by your résumé, particularly the advertising supplement."

"Your curriculum vitae is extremely detailed, isn't it? I don't quite know what to make of the fact that your third-grade teacher, Miss Hartley, made you stand in the corner for throwing an eraser although another kid did it."

PERSONNEL, 'Any awards or honors OTHER than being the valedictorian of your remedial class?'

'You're not at all qualified. Thanks for coming in and wasting my time. We'll let you know by the end of the week.'

"I've applied the Paper Reduction Act to my resume."

'Your resume states that you've worked with 2 presidents, won the Nobel Prize and climbed Mt. Everest. That's all fine and dandy, but how are you at telemarketing?'

"However, should the need arise at Cyber-Biogenetics, for a trusty sidekick, we have your resume on file."

"You have excellent academic credentials and a wonderful work history but we try not to profile people."

"...and before that, I was an embryo."

"I can handle a wide variety of work. In fact I've had ten different jobs in four months."