Resume Crafting Wizard T-Shirts

'According to your resume, you multitask at the four person level. Here, our minimum starts at five.'

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

"He's having a hard time finding work."

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

Wishing Well, Wishing Good.

'Your resume is impressive, but next time try to shorten it from 100 pages to one.'

JOIN THE BOY SCOUTS HERE!, ''Trustworthy, friendly, loyal, helpful, kind, courteous, brave, thrifty, obedient and cheerful' -- This is going to look GREAT on my resume!'

"Yes, we do accept resumes online, but there's more to it than giving me your computer with your resume on it."

'Technically, I was making fun of your writing ability.'

'I know my resume makes me seem overtrained, but I really wasn't paying attention.'

"Your CV will be sufficient, Mr. Cooper."

"You inhabit the body of someone who has an impressive résumé."

Job Interview Gone Bad.

'Alright, throw in your resume and the 'Get A Job' potion will be complete.'

"Are all these letters of recommendation from your mother?"

"Hey, there's Sara, padding her college-entrance résumé!"

"Everything looks real good...except these long gaps in your work history every winter."

'He will observe your text now...'

"Tom's writing has been going really well! He's written over 200,000 words. Now he just needs to work out what order to put them in!"

Tweaking the CV.

"Would you like something you're under qualified for, or something you're overqualified for?"

"We were looking for somebody with experience in mumbo-jumbo but your resume is mainly about gobbledegook."

'I like the part of your resume where you didn't ask for a raise for 10 years.'

"If I had known this was such a great place to work I would have lied more on my resume."

Your resume says you were a waiter...

"Very impressive resume, however you didn't explain why you were tagged and released from your last job."

"Nice touch." - Resume playing music.

'I didn't have time to prepare a resume.'

"I'll have to get someone younger to look at your résumé. I'm not fluent in emoji."

"If I'd known you were not looking for experience I wouldn't have lied on my CV."

'This resume is incredible. Would you be able to lie this well under pressure?'

'Have you got a resume?'

"I can see here on your résumé that you’d like my job ..."

How do you fell about buying your own health insurance?