Resume Maestros Gifts

'Your resume certainly includes a lot of UFO abductions....'

"I'd say we were pretty much on target."

"He's having a hard time finding work."

"Here, we do not procrastinate, we 'table' things."

Four children playing the flute.

Presentation: Thinking each other are idiots.

"Yes, we do accept resumes online, but there's more to it than giving me your computer with your resume on it."

"You're good at asking all the right questions. Now let's hear some right answers."

Busking, "Stop worrying your father for money."

Two plans - one long-term and one short-term.

'You've spelt 'C.V.' wrongly.'

'My manuscript is available for download on the internet. I'll email the link to you.'

"Well, it could be the rising tide of consumer indifference to our company's latest product, or it might be the sink in the men's bathroom acting up again. We're still not sure."

Resume Dumpers

'Ooops! My mistake. That was the yearly budget estimate, no the monthly estimate.'

'Enter, His Royal Globalness...'

"I see you've flown around the world in a plane, and settled revolutions in Spain. Around a golf course you're under par. Metro-Goldwyn has asked you to star. Very impressive, I must admit, but we're looking for someone with marketing experience."

"Oh he also likes Wagner's 'Flight Of The Valkyries' played whenever he enters a room."

"And what my plan may lack in coherence, it makes up for in the exhilerating momentum created by all of these super-cool arrows!"

'Good - we're finally all on the same rampage.'

"Next?? How should I know what comes next?"

Your performance since you came here suggests you may have lied on your resume.

The boss and her baby

'let's see if we can find any loopholes in this 'honesty-is-the-best-policy' nonsense.'

"Yeah, but no progress in meeting..."

Communicating with clients without using buzzwords posed a challenge for the consultants.

"Costs have risen by 200% and we are behind schedule. We are living up to our acronym gentlemen and I am not happy about it!!"

"Starting here, each person whisper to your neighbor the purpose of this meeting and we'll see what we end up with."

...and this was that really cute kitty cat video on YouTube.

'I can show you in our panic room while you're waiting to see the boss.'

'A resume painted in oils on canvas? How long have you been out of work?'

'Guilty? But I just hired an expensive personnel firm to update my resume.'

"We've gleaned all we need to know about you from the internet, but we'll keep your resume as a great example of creative writing."

"A vibrant imagination is an excellent quality for the job...but not the CV."

Employment Dept. Fill Out Job Applications Here. This application form has too much space for "work experience" and not enough for "leisure activities."