Manuscript Maestros Gifts

'My manuscript is available for download on the internet. I'll email the link to you.'

'Are you trying to disparage the notion that less is more.'

"I can see it going even a little more feline."

"I'd say we were pretty much on target."

"Bah, I could've written a better dénouement in my sleep."

"My novel is not a doorstop!"

"Here, we do not procrastinate, we 'table' things."

Presentation: Thinking each other are idiots.

"For just one monkey in front of one typewriter you've come up with some amazing stuff."

"It's about the murder of an editor who refuses to publish a writer's work..."

"You're good at asking all the right questions. Now let's hear some right answers."

The writers group met every Tuesday for support and fellowship.

It's an autobiography of a guy who spent his whole life trying to get his first @#^& book published. Editor.

"By God, for a minute there it suddenly all made sense!"

Editor.

Two plans - one long-term and one short-term.

'You can't reject my manuscript without due process!'

I'll be honest, Jerry - When you invited me to join your book club, this is not what I expected.

"There's the pressure from my public, naturally, as well as the pressure from my publisher, my agent, and all that. But the real pressure comes from that devil inside that makes me different from other men, that makes me a writer. But, of course, you know all about pressure, grinding out those papers at Sarah Lawrence."

"Well, it could be the rising tide of consumer indifference to our company's latest product, or it might be the sink in the men's bathroom acting up again. We're still not sure."

'Ooops! My mistake. That was the yearly budget estimate, no the monthly estimate.'

Publisher to writer: 'It was a great read, except I collided with run-on sentences, tripped over broken English and got knocked about by a dangling participle.'

'Enter, His Royal Globalness...'

"We do not usually acknowledge unsolicited manuscripts, but we want you to know that we tore yours into tiny pieces. Yours sincerely, The Op-Ed Page."

Man has thrown his computer aside and is writing on a typewriter.

"Your book stinks—we want to publish it."

The Acme Agency: Dedicated to life, liberty and the pursuit of media exposure.

'No, go ahead and critique my mss. I'm always ok ... after the initial reaction.'

"And what my plan may lack in coherence, it makes up for in the exhilerating momentum created by all of these super-cool arrows!"

'Good - we're finally all on the same rampage.'

'The first thing we will do is select a block captain.'

Rubbish, Poppycock, Balderdash

The boss and her baby

Communicating with clients without using buzzwords posed a challenge for the consultants.

"We'll publish your book, doctor, but we'll have to get a second opinion."