Manuscript Maverick Gifts

'Too many exclamation points!!!!!!'

'Your Latest Book? Just giving it some attention'

"Bah, I could've written a better dénouement in my sleep."

"Do me next."

"My novel is not a doorstop!"

"It turns out everyone here is self-published."

"No—You're thinking dog years—Editor years are twice as many."

"It's about the murder of an editor who refuses to publish a writer's work..."

"For just one monkey in front of one typewriter you've come up with some amazing stuff."

The writers group met every Tuesday for support and fellowship.

"Moby Richard by Herman Melville" "Wonderful! Not sure about the title—let's discuss editor."

"By God, for a minute there it suddenly all made sense!"

'I sort of thought your presentation was going to be in powerpoint.'

Editor.

'You can't reject my manuscript without due process!'

'My manuscript is available for download on the internet. I'll email the link to you.'

"Can you rewrite this in 3-D?"

'Thank god for the spellchecker!'

In, Out, Shake it all about

"There's the pressure from my public, naturally, as well as the pressure from my publisher, my agent, and all that. But the real pressure comes from that devil inside that makes me different from other men, that makes me a writer. But, of course, you know all about pressure, grinding out those papers at Sarah Lawrence."

'But I think my strongest asset as an employee is my aversion to pretense, coupled with an unwavering commitment to a regular-guy persona!'

Publisher to writer: 'It was a great read, except I collided with run-on sentences, tripped over broken English and got knocked about by a dangling participle.'

"We do not usually acknowledge unsolicited manuscripts, but we want you to know that we tore yours into tiny pieces. Yours sincerely, The Op-Ed Page."

Man has thrown his computer aside and is writing on a typewriter.

"Your book stinks—we want to publish it."

'This is all without rhyme or reason.'

"I've been promoted from barbarian pillager to management. Do you know how to tie a neck tie?"

'No, go ahead and critique my mss. I'm always ok ... after the initial reaction.'

"No wonder you can't write, you're not plugged in!"

A monk illustrates a manuscript with emojis

'The first thing we will do is select a block captain.'

"See, that's the problem with you new breed. You take rejection too personally."

'Look on it as... constructive criticism.'

Rubbish, Poppycock, Balderdash

"I just want to say thanks for getting me into this writing group."