Manuscript Maven Gifts

'No, go ahead and critique my mss. I'm always ok ... after the initial reaction.'

"I like it - it's wonderfully editable."

"Well - and I'm not just saying this because you're my husband - it stinks."

"My novel is not a doorstop!"

Writer's block - Our literary gent has knocked out 1247 pages, but has come to a standstill when writing THE ......

'Stop staring at me!!!'

The writers group met every Tuesday for support and fellowship.

'I had a dream that Oprah is going to recommend your book!'

"Your story is quite the booze-filled dive into the depths of depravity. Is this your first children's book?"

"We liked your use of punctuation, capitalization, underlines, parentheses, and italics. After that, we had reservations."

'The first thing we will do is select a block captain.'

'I can't stand the first page...so black and white!'

"We're really, really interested. Now take it home and make it sing."

Edit the Author 6-7

"Your manuscript is utter trash, of course. How does a half-million first printing sound to you?"

"It's amazing how you invested your lockdown time into writing this book, but it's utter drivel from beginning to end."

"It's a remarkable write, but not an irresistible read."

'As is the fashion these days, it's about nothing.'

"Your book is a masterpiece, but, unfortunately, we're rather picky."

'I've been working on this novel since I was 10 years old.'

'I'll publish it if you include a character obviously based on me.'

'We can't publish your manuscript 'The Naked Wordsmith' but I love your bod.'

"It's a darkly comic indictment of my inability to write."

Publisher with a manuscript heading for a manhole.

"We sign with the baby all the time. This morning I was reading her my latest manuscript and she signed the words for, 'fresh', 'insightful' and 'poignant'."

"Effing self-publishing rejection!"

'I just knew you'd probably turn it down!'

Yeah, yeah, yeah - tell my editor the fables are almost done, and she'll have them as soon as

"Dumb it up."

"It's a great manuscript, but our mandate has shifted from championing new writers to enslaving planet earth."

"A book about clocks?"

Jack of all trades

"It's a heck of a tale...and well told, but we don't publish resumes."

'A few more years in this job and you'll learn how to delegate stress.'

"We were able to retire 6 years early by canceling cable & eliminating anything fun."