Resume Maestro Gifts

'Impressive resume. Any problem with relocating?'

A paperwork machine spews endless paperwork

'I'm sorry but I'm afraid the corporation is going in a different direction.'

'He was only reaching for his powerpoint presentation pointer.'

'Lion Tamer experience hey? Well, I have a project currently needing your management skills...'

'I'm going to practice on you before I start managing other people.'

"I guess someone got up on the wrong side of the podium today."

He then drew a number of smaller pie charts behind the bigger chart. That helped to put it into perspective.

"You need to take the weak parts of your presentation and work them into something that won't get you fired."

"You're writing a memoir? You're seven years old. Do you honestly think you can capture the interest of readers with such a short—wait, is that my name?!"

Although not felt by everone, Wanda's powrful jargon sent seismic shock waves through some of the more geologically unstable department in the organization.

"This is bad work, Edwards! Bad! Bad! Bad! Bad!"

'And this is after the creation of a Special Effects Department.'

Traffic Management Strategic Group

'Who wants the talking stick?'

"I see you've flown around the world in a plane, and settled revolutions in Spain. Around a golf course you're under par. Metro-Goldwyn has asked you to star. Very impressive, I must admit, but we're looking for someone with marketing experience."

Project Manager Showdown

Hats: Management/Good Job/Friendly but Aloof.

"well I'll be - you are the boss of me."

"We need to work on our people-friendly image you jackass."

'He was always too busy to sit for his portrait.'

'My computer? - I got rid of it for insubordination!'

'I can't decide weather to have a feisty or a sassy management style.'

"Get me someone in Apologies, someone in Walkbacks, and send up the whole Scapegoating team."

"I'm glad my team places me on a pedestal."

"Your first job is to learn to recognize your boss' voice on the phone."

"So your agent doesn't like your lawyer, and your PlR. people don't like your manager. They all like you."

"Experience is the wonderful knowledge that enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again."

A powerful tennis serve loosens the strings of a tennis racquet.

"That last customer thinks I should fire you."

Employees need to be treated like adults...

'Treat me easy this morning.'

'Overwhelm the facts with interpretation and have it on my desk Thursday.'

"You deal with the nitty gritty, I'll handle the overview."

"Any questions?"