Restroom Relaxers Gifts

'Can't you take a magazine like everybody else?'

"Ahhh... close enough."

"And then, when I feel like a rum punch and breaded shrimp, I can just swim to Tony’s Trattoria."

STRIP Hambone: Businessman in hospital with his computer

'The cruises and long vacations ensure I'm not micro-managing.'

"I do wish Henry could run into someone from the dress business to talk to."

'Thanks for the invitation, but I can never seem to find the energy to party...'

'I don't care what he says, child labor laws were never intended to protect the rights of children in their mid-30s.'

'But I feel quite healthy.'

"Yes, mother, I'm recharging."

"Sometimes I stop to think and forget to start again."

"What did I say about leaving those things by the bath?"

'Soak too long in the tub, dear?'

Visit a Place in your Past...

"Have you ever tried buying lots of stuff?"

"And this is my husband...he's into energy conservation, mostly his own!"

"Oooo!... Leather! I'd love to shed on that!!"

I'm practicing for retirement - one hour every day.

"The president wants me to stay on as unemployed."

"Didn't I tell you to limber up before you started channel surfing?"

"Now bend forward to touch floor between feet- try to keep knees straight."

'How's the executive training program, going?'

'My husband has retired from the bench.'

"I said I've travelled all over the world. I never said I got out of the box."

'The best part of growing old is not having to invest for the long term.'

"Since Frank retired two years ago, he's been on the alert for some long-dormant artistic talent to develop."

"Have you ever thought about dropping a few pounds, dear?"

Some eggs are having a good time in the boiling water as if it were a jacuzzi.

'Rodney, I don't know what to make of you. You're bored by excitement, and excited by boredom.'

'Retirement became more tolerable when I installed this water cooler.'

"I'm thinking of installing some strobe lights to make it look like he's moving."

"You never had to learn to relax, did you Fred?"