Restroom Relaxers T-Shirts

'Can't you take a magazine like everybody else?'

"Ahhh... close enough."

American Idle.

"And then, when I feel like a rum punch and breaded shrimp, I can just swim to Tony’s Trattoria."

Man is caught swimming on an inflable float in a moat by the knights.

STRIP Hambone: Businessman in hospital with his computer

'The cruises and long vacations ensure I'm not micro-managing.'

"I do wish Henry could run into someone from the dress business to talk to."

Last night I went over to Lance's house, and he was leaning back in his recliner, drinking a beer, eating a pizza and smoking a cigar. I said, "Tsk! Tsk!" He asked if that was for the recliner, the beer the pizza or the cigar. I explained that I'm quite adept at multi-tsking.

'Thanks for the invitation, but I can never seem to find the energy to party...'

'I don't care what he says, child labor laws were never intended to protect the rights of children in their mid-30s.'

"Yes, mother, I'm recharging."

'Soak too long in the tub, dear?'

"What did I say about leaving those things by the bath?"

Visit a Place in your Past...

"Sometimes I stop to think and forget to start again."

'But I feel quite healthy.'

"Have you ever tried buying lots of stuff?"

"And this is my husband...he's into energy conservation, mostly his own!"

"The president wants me to stay on as unemployed."

I'm practicing for retirement - one hour every day.

"Oooo!... Leather! I'd love to shed on that!!"

"Now bend forward to touch floor between feet- try to keep knees straight."

"I said I've travelled all over the world. I never said I got out of the box."

"Didn't I tell you to limber up before you started channel surfing?"

'My husband has retired from the bench.'

'How's the executive training program, going?'

'The best part of growing old is not having to invest for the long term.'

"Since Frank retired two years ago, he's been on the alert for some long-dormant artistic talent to develop."

"Have you ever thought about dropping a few pounds, dear?"

Some eggs are having a good time in the boiling water as if it were a jacuzzi.

'Rodney, I don't know what to make of you. You're bored by excitement, and excited by boredom.'

'Retirement became more tolerable when I installed this water cooler.'

"You never had to learn to relax, did you Fred?"

"I'm thinking of installing some strobe lights to make it look like he's moving."