Resignation Humorist Gifts

'I hear you're leaving us, Wilkins!'

"Ma'am, you don't have an ant problem. They're coffee grounds."

"I've thought about retiring, but there's a great deal of gravity under this chair."

Old men,"I have terrible trouble with my joints..the cannabis keeps falling out."

Wherever You Go, There You Are - Next Exit.

'I know the Oval Office is in the West Wing. I wonder what mischief goes on in the East Wing?'

"Times are perfect for us masochists!..."

"There's a programme about people watching TV on the other channel."

"The good new is I found your dentures. The bad news is the dog has a new chew toy."

'I think we're going to have to add another storey downstairs...'

I was rapidly rising to my level of incompetence, so I started screwing up just enough to maintain job security.

"He is stingy. If he is giving gold it's only because prices have hit rock-bottom..."

'Due to budget cutbacks, we need to get by with less.'

"They should've called me for the sketch instead. She's not even funny. What a complete bomb-ala."

'Wake up, Jim. It's time for your break.'

"Why is there a picture of an old man in the bathroom?"

I'm retired...I was tired yesterday and I'm tired again today.

Joe's Bar: Gentlemen must wear blue collars.

'Excuse me, sir, I know you didn't get your bonus, your house is mortgaged to the hilt, you have two kids in college, your employer is facing bankruptcy and . . .'

'Can you dance?'

Husband's sudden interest in Aquafit is all because of the sexy instructor.

Vulture waiting outside a failing business.

"Help! I've fallen and my son is a disappointment!"

'Do you have one that says 'It's all over but I'm keeping the ring'?'

'Tech support? If I send a 'Dear John' email to someone named Bob, will it get through?'

"Just a few more pages, Hansen, and we'll take a short break."

"Here at Consolidated Megacorp we carry on a proud tradition of marginal competence."

"The viewers seem to be sated with stupid shows, senseless movies and embarrassing celebs. That's why our black screen has got the best viewing figures!"

"Attention, shoppers!! We have a senior lost in the produce section!. . ."

'The teachers' range are all designed vertically so they can stand at the front of the class.'

Senior Chat Rooms.