Resignation Humorist Pillows

'I hear you're leaving us, Wilkins!'

"I've thought about retiring, but there's a great deal of gravity under this chair."

"Ma'am, you don't have an ant problem. They're coffee grounds."

Employment Agency. I didn't hire him -- Those bipedal guys are are afraid to get their hands dirty.

Old men,"I have terrible trouble with my joints..the cannabis keeps falling out."

'Good news Darling You've received loads of bids,,,'

Wherever You Go, There You Are - Next Exit.

"There's a programme about people watching TV on the other channel."

"The good new is I found your dentures. The bad news is the dog has a new chew toy."

"Let me take that for you."

'I know the Oval Office is in the West Wing. I wonder what mischief goes on in the East Wing?'

"Times are perfect for us masochists!..."

I was rapidly rising to my level of incompetence, so I started screwing up just enough to maintain job security.

'I think we're going to have to add another storey downstairs...'

'Wake up, Jim. It's time for your break.'

When scientists come out of retirement.

"They should've called me for the sketch instead. She's not even funny. What a complete bomb-ala."

"He is stingy. If he is giving gold it's only because prices have hit rock-bottom..."

'Due to budget cutbacks, we need to get by with less.'

'Excuse me, sir, I know you didn't get your bonus, your house is mortgaged to the hilt, you have two kids in college, your employer is facing bankruptcy and . . .'

"Why is there a picture of an old man in the bathroom?"

'Can you dance?'

I'm retired...I was tired yesterday and I'm tired again today.

Joe's Bar: Gentlemen must wear blue collars.

Husband's sudden interest in Aquafit is all because of the sexy instructor.

"Help! I've fallen and my son is a disappointment!"

Vulture waiting outside a failing business.

'Do you have one that says 'It's all over but I'm keeping the ring'?'

'The teachers' range are all designed vertically so they can stand at the front of the class.'

"The viewers seem to be sated with stupid shows, senseless movies and embarrassing celebs. That's why our black screen has got the best viewing figures!"

"Attention, shoppers!! We have a senior lost in the produce section!. . ."

"Just a few more pages, Hansen, and we'll take a short break."

'Personally, I thin the downsizing went too far.'

A child offers an old man adult diapers in the grocery store.

'Our retirement plan is state funded. When you retire, we give you a lottery ticket.'