Remuneration Specialist Gifts

"I've reviewed your salary with other senior managers in Tuktoyaktuk and it seems we've been paying you too much."

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

"Stock options for your thoughts."

'Is there another doctor in the house? He wants a second opinion.'

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

I'm not making enough money to like you.

"Take me to your mechanic."

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

"Why yes, there was an extra five thousand dollars in my pay check last week...er...I thought it was a raise."

"Gifted class, indeed! One is gifted in science, but can't rad - one is fixed in reading, but won't even try math..."

"I believe it took a team of twenty five, working six months at a cost of �250, 000 to come up with that."

Good Luck!

"I've written the employees' benefit manual in invisible ink"

Dave's Discount Auto Repair...only an arm or a leg, not both!

"I never said they were well-compensated. I just said they were paid handsomely."

'Yes,we have equal pay in that we are grossly underpaid, all of us.'

'If I was this car I wouldn't let you in the drivers seat!'

Medical Examinations.

"You're in luck...I've unearthed those payroll records from 3 years ago."

'It's a treasure map.'

Rust test in progress.

'Gastroenterology...do I know that?'

'Are you the genius who came up with the 'Alternative Payment' program?'

Human Resources Dept: Full time/part time/over time/time and a half/time out.

'Qualifications aside, Mr Thumb, this is the cutest resume I've ever seen.'

"And keep in mind that the only stupid question is the one that isn't asked. Discussion?"

Natural gas

"Here's your paycheck. I hope we'll both find it amusing."

'I take it you're looking to some extra hours!'

"Doctors, Gilby, Beam and Henson. Ears, nose and throat."

"I've joined a wine-lovers club. . . so far there are only three members."

'You can't cash your paychecks until your 6 month probation is satisfactorily over.'

'My pay envelope is empty.' - 'Your deductions equal your salary'

'I'm referring you to a specialist who isn't as afraid to die as I am.'

Bureau of Missing Persons, "He works flextime and we have direct deposit, so it took me a few months to notice he was gone."