Specialist Gifts

Medical Examinations.

"I'm sorry, Dr. Etheridge is an epidemiologist, not a general practitioners. But maybe if you get a group together, he would see you."

"Don't you have any regular doctors?"

'I think I know what you've got, but it'll take a specialist to pronounce it.'

'Your spider veins are not the largest I have ever seen, but they are varicose.'

'How to break the news to a terminal patient'

'I'm sending you to a specialist.. don't tell him you know me.'

'I disagree with you, doctor. It's not just a hangnail. According to the Internet, it's a rare genetic disorder. . .'

"You need to see a specialer. They're like specialists, but less so."

'The bad news is you have a disease that only a highly-paid specialist can pronounce.'

Flying Doctors

"I'm going to send you to someone who's not afraid of doing a little harm."

'Is there another doctor in the house? He wants a second opinion.'

"Doctors, Gilby, Beam and Henson. Ears, nose and throat."

Niche Marketing

"To be an expert, don't do the work. Talk about it!"

"But why do you want an eleventh opinion?"

'I watched ER and now I'm getting a second opinion from Chicago Hope.'

'Gastroenterology...do I know that?'

"We're sending you to a specialist in Holland. The Dutch, as you know, are experts on tulips."

'I believe you have Herkermeier's syndrome. Just to be sure, I am referring you to doctor Herkermeler.'

I'm referring you to a specialist who knows how to deal with HMO's.

"Dr. Johnson referred me to Dr. Goldberg, Dr. Goldberg referred me to Dr Brown...."

A Visit to the Chiropodists

"Cancel my appointment, something came up."

Well, I think it's a sparrow, but I'll need to send you to a specialist.

"I can refer you either to Dr. Basinkski, a noted specialist, Dr. Hodge-Cabot, who is a pioneer in the field, or Charlie, a generic doctor who also does a very nice job."

Trust Your Doctor

"He claims to be a specialist, but I think he just has a one-track mind."

Dr. [Squiggle] specializing in [squiggle].

"A specialist is a doctor with a smaller practice and a bigger home."

"The doctor said he could see you at 2 or 3 turdy."

"Can you hold?"

'Ready?'

'I'm going to refer you to a specialist - a Dr Mouse.'