Reluctant Riser Gifts

A man filling up his coffee pot, with his brain as a coffee filter.

'I don't need that exercise stuff -- I cross the pain threshold just getting out of bed in the morning.'

'You know Doug just isn't a morning person. This afternoon's not looking too good, either.'

Sixth grade teacher Linda LeBlanc was having a tough time getting psyched up about the new school year.

'yes, up every day at dawn, but there was a shameful time as a teenager when I used to sleep in until noon sometimes...'

"It's another day, Phil. Planning to suit up?"

Rise and shine, young man! It's time for school! I don't want to rise, I don't want to shine, I'm not a young man, and school is for suckers. Call me at lunchtime.

A woman is sat in bed and retreats further under the duvet during the week days.

"I won't be in the office today, my apathy is acting up again."

'God, I hate Sunday mornings.'

'I set the alarm to 96 years!'

"Baldo, time to get up! It's the first day of school!"

"On days when I need to get out of bed and go to work, I close my eyes until the feeling passes."

"It was Monday morning, he kept hitting the snooze button, and before he knew it, it had been twenty years."

'Hey Einstein, how about converting some of your mass into energy and getting this place cleaned up?'

"I’ve got to take this. It’s someone who isn’t obsessed with summer fun."

'Thanks for the invitation, but I can never seem to find the energy to party...'

'I had a great year and I wasn't even trying.'

"For heaven's sake lighten up, Roger! You're supposed to be on holiday."

'Now, dear, I spent 35 years pretending to look busy. I can't just quit overnight!'

You read me a story about a workaholic little engine, and you expect it to make me sleepy?

'Sorry, you're overqualified for this job.'

'Well, the magic of Christmas is officially over, unless it includes waking up to a septic tank backup.'

No you can't get out yet. You've only been in there for three hours

Diner. Breakfast Specials. I'm a type "C" personality. Until I have my morning coffee I have no personality at all.

"Careful... if you look too comfortable they take your chair away."

"I love the smell of unemployment in the morning."

Hot flashes

"Dang it."

'Before I read the investment committee's report - I would remind everyone that I never asked to be on this damn committee.'

"My husband hid my laptop to stop me working on vacation."

"You're going to the Partner's Social whether you like it or not!"

'There's nothing on the telly!'

'My body is a temple. A temple full of fat people.'

"Instead of cleaning my room, can we just seal the door and call it a time capsule?"