Reluctant Recliner Gifts

"Careful... if you look too comfortable they take your chair away."

'Hey Einstein, how about converting some of your mass into energy and getting this place cleaned up?'

"I got tired of 'Moby-Dick' taunting me from my bookshelf, so I put it on my Kindle and haven't thought of it since."

'Honestly, dear, I'm just giving my pedometer a rest.'

'Hey, we have one of those. You hang your laundry on it.'

'Thanks for the invitation, but I can never seem to find the energy to party...'

You read me a story about a workaholic little engine, and you expect it to make me sleepy?

'Now, dear, I spent 35 years pretending to look busy. I can't just quit overnight!'

"Homework! Homework! Homework! I'll be doing this for hours! Talk about a misspent youth."

"It's another day, Phil. Planning to suit up?"

"For heaven's sake lighten up, Roger! You're supposed to be on holiday."

The middle school mile claims its first victim.

No you can't get out yet. You've only been in there for three hours

'Studies show that most boys my age don't like to read. Who am I to tamper with statistics?'

"Don't you just love the beach, dear?"

'My interest in gardening backfired when I married a couch potato.'

Hot flashes

"Baldo, time to get up! It's the first day of school!"

'Liquor will solve this problem, chief!'

'I don't need that exercise stuff -- I cross the pain threshold just getting out of bed in the morning.'

'You know Doug just isn't a morning person. This afternoon's not looking too good, either.'

'Before I read the investment committee's report - I would remind everyone that I never asked to be on this damn committee.'

"It's our best seller. Perfect for sitting idly by."

"My husband hid my laptop to stop me working on vacation."

"You're going to the Partner's Social whether you like it or not!"

'The Ben Franklin? What an honor! I see your 'Poor Richard's Almanack' in bathrooms all over the place!'

'God, I hate Sunday mornings.'

"On days when I need to get out of bed and go to work, I close my eyes until the feeling passes."

'I set the alarm to 96 years!'

"I have to write a book report for school. . . do you have any books with lots of pictures?"

'There's nothing on the telly!'

'Before I read the investment committee's report - I would remind everyone that I never asked to be on this committee.'

"Instead of cleaning my room, can we just seal the door and call it a time capsule?"

"I hate these walkabouts. Did you remember to get me some corn plasters?"

CLEAN YOUR ROOM! 'Out of sight, out of mind...'