Relaxed Riser Gifts

'Well, there's plague in town, everyone will believe you if you pull a sickie...'

"I love the smell of unemployment in the morning."

DO Not Disturb (Except For Meals)

"Chair looks couch potato friendly!"

"Try this new IPA I just finished. Let me know if the malts and hops are layered like last week's batch." "Bailey was a really 'good boy'."

"You really need to think about getting glasses."

Man sitting on bank with pulling up fishing with sign from fish attached to hook: Gone fishin'.

Shopper in grocery store sees TV dinners marked daytime and prime time.

Trivia/Great Literature.

"Just the slippers is fine!"

'Sorry, you're overqualified for this job.'

Last night I went over to Lance's house, and he was leaning back in his recliner, drinking a beer, eating a pizza and smoking a cigar. I said, "Tsk! Tsk!" He asked if that was for the recliner, the beer the pizza or the cigar. I explained that I'm quite adept at multi-tsking.

"It's another day, Phil. Planning to suit up?"

Zack Brillard and Live-In Companion

"Just sitting here widening. You?"

Man about dog relaxing in chair: 'He's a full-blooded recliner.'

"Don't you just love the beach, dear?"

Man reading on top of giant pencil being carried by others.

'My interest in gardening backfired when I married a couch potato.'

"Baldo, time to get up! It's the first day of school!"

'I don't need that exercise stuff -- I cross the pain threshold just getting out of bed in the morning.'

'You know Doug just isn't a morning person. This afternoon's not looking too good, either.'

"I see here it's been quite a while since your last performance review."

"And this is my husband...he's into energy conservation, mostly his own!"

'I set the alarm to 96 years!'

Mr. Clean Enough

'The Ben Franklin? What an honor! I see your 'Poor Richard's Almanack' in bathrooms all over the place!'

"Frankly, I could move a lot faster, but the truth is that I lack motivation..."

"On days when I need to get out of bed and go to work, I close my eyes until the feeling passes."

"Oooo!... Leather! I'd love to shed on that!!"

'God, I hate Sunday mornings.'

'Let's see what's going on in the mouse house.'

'When did the world get into such a big hurry?'

Success Without Effort

"You know, I'm beginning to think that I'm not destined for greatness."