Reluctant Streamer Gifts

'There's nothing on the telly!'

'Hey Einstein, how about converting some of your mass into energy and getting this place cleaned up?'

"The problem with these instructions is that they assume I have the attention span to actually read something."

"I got tired of 'Moby-Dick' taunting me from my bookshelf, so I put it on my Kindle and haven't thought of it since."

'Thanks for the invitation, but I can never seem to find the energy to party...'

'I had a great year and I wasn't even trying.'

"Homework! Homework! Homework! I'll be doing this for hours! Talk about a misspent youth."

"It's another day, Phil. Planning to suit up?"

The middle school mile claims its first victim.

"Careful... if you look too comfortable they take your chair away."

No you can't get out yet. You've only been in there for three hours

'Studies show that most boys my age don't like to read. Who am I to tamper with statistics?'

"No internet connection"

'As long as I stand here I'm safe. . . no stress. . . no pressure. . . no need to impress. . . I can just relax and be who I am. . .'

"Baldo, time to get up! It's the first day of school!"

'I don't need that exercise stuff -- I cross the pain threshold just getting out of bed in the morning.'

'You know Doug just isn't a morning person. This afternoon's not looking too good, either.'

'Before I read the investment committee's report - I would remind everyone that I never asked to be on this damn committee.'

'God, I hate Sunday mornings.'

'I set the alarm to 96 years!'

"On days when I need to get out of bed and go to work, I close my eyes until the feeling passes."

"I have to write a book report for school. . . do you have any books with lots of pictures?"

"Go join your coach and the rest of your team. I'll be watching from the bar."

"You're going to the Partner's Social whether you like it or not!"

"Instead of cleaning my room, can we just seal the door and call it a time capsule?"

CLEAN YOUR ROOM! 'Out of sight, out of mind...'

'I do more than I want, but it's always less than I should.'

Summer Reading

"I'm not a big fan of fresh air and sunshine, but it beats helping dad clean out the basement."

Man Readig Paper

'Who cares where Waldo is?'

"I won't be in the office today, my apathy is acting up again."

"The only thing I like more than running is everything else."

Sweeping under the carpet

'yes, up every day at dawn, but there was a shameful time as a teenager when I used to sleep in until noon sometimes...'