Religious Rites Reveler Gifts

Dance of the Red (Papal) Shoes.

"I spend my day prepping for a good night"

"Hue More Church Candlelight mass 7:00pm - 8:00pm"

"I'm having my entrails read."

The New Year's Dance

For the Wilsons, Gold Medalists Los Angeles '84, bathtime was always a ritual.

R.C.I.A.

"Would you mind getting me the Ambien, the Tiger Balm, three cookies, a cup of tea and a pillow for my legs?"

'For my family, Christmas and New Year's Eve is the busiest time... my husband is a spirits dealer and my son is an emergency doctor!'

The Wackoman (Heat it).

"I don't know about you Mavis but I'm Mullered."

Confirmation of Westminster School Boys at the Abbey

"Yee yee hee hee how how yip yip."

"If I ask you something, will you promise not to get mad?"

Dogs play the double bass

"I didn't say, 'Simon says'..."

"I'm prescribing your husband a double dose of malt whiskey, to be taken twice every evening."

Greek Gods New Years. It's another fun new year's eve up here! Yeah, everybody is getting ready for the big moment. Zeus is preparing a thunder and lightning show to ring in the new year. And Aphrodite is pairing off couples of the new year's kiss. It's great up here, but it'll be a rough start to the new year down on earth. Why? At midnight Atlas will drop the ball!

The Nargleys perform their post-holiday ritual of trying to blow all the needles off the tree in one breath,

Hold it, I think I need something more than "because it's traditional."

'Sorry - I've got strong views on Sunday Trading!'

"Due to a breakdown in communication, 'Nilla Wafers' will be used for the communion service."

"The Kitmans in 12-B. Tell them Elijah is here for the Seder."

"Why did you become a crusader? You don't even go to church."

"I should be mad, but that was an impressive hack."

"During the holidays, we like to refer to organ donation as 'regifting.'"

"Bartender - givish me another shot."

Christmas Fatigue.

'After scraping my tongue, flossing my teeth, brushing my teeth, whitening my teeth and gargling, I'm hungry all over again!'

'You guys like to get into the holiday spirits?'

Vicar with three taps: hot, cold and holy.

"It's great that you both enjoy live music, but who are you and how did you get in our garage?"

'We're trying a more holistic approach to our surgeries.'

'Deliveries will be a little later than usual this year...'

The Fourth Day of Christmas