Religious Holiday Reveler Gifts

"The Kitmans in 12-B. Tell them Elijah is here for the Seder."

Christmas Tree

'I swear, if he didn't always pick up the tab, I'd never go drinking with him.'

"I remember his last words were, 'Another bite and I'll burst!'..."

Santa does a keg stand.

"Sir, you're not on the list - we've checked it twice."

Dance of the Red (Papal) Shoes.

The New Year's Dance

For the Wilsons, Gold Medalists Los Angeles '84, bathtime was always a ritual.

"So, with internet shopping and guaranteed next-day delivery, I figured now was as good a time as any to hang my sack up and retire."

'Do you expect to be stuffed on Thanksgiving?'

'For my family, Christmas and New Year's Eve is the busiest time... my husband is a spirits dealer and my son is an emergency doctor!'

"Trick or treat?"

The Wackoman (Heat it).

"I'm the designated driver."

Nativity Scene on the Underground

Theatrical Christmas.

The night after Christmas.

Holiday Overkill.

December Fest

"I don't know about you Mavis but I'm Mullered."

T'was the night before Christmas and all through the house not a creature was stirring...except Bert who had a weak bladder!

"Yee yee hee hee how how yip yip."

"There's always someone who goes over the top with their rooftop decorations."

'If you ask me, toys are getting far too realistic!'

Dogs play the double bass

Are we nearly there yet?

"Due to a breakdown in communication, 'Nilla Wafers' will be used for the communion service."

'It's not just the Oktoberfests, it's the novemberfests, birthdayfests, flagdayfests, mayfests, arboedayfests...'

"That's him office...the peeping tom!"

"Why did you become a crusader? You don't even go to church."

'Hey Larry! Jim here! Haven't seen you since way last Christmas! How the heck are ya, dude?'

"Bartender - givish me another shot."

CIVICS 101

"During the holidays, we like to refer to organ donation as 'regifting.'"