Religion Examiner Gifts

'it's the usual sequel, more sins, worse plagues...'

'You may now turn over your paper and begin.' - 'Sir!' - 'Yes?' - 'What is it?' - 'I think Train 'A' and Train 'B' might be going to crash!'

"Um, I notice there's nothing in here about pork."

'Wow! -- Talk about a paradigm shift!'

Garrett knew it was important to jeep his brain from overheating during big tests.

The World's Biggest Book Club

"Ma, what does 'kosher' mean?"

Revival Meeting - Simultaneous translation of all talking in tongues.

'Is there an E-Reader Edition?'

"...and if you add wind-chill factor, the next plague will be even worse!"

Tragically Moses didn't see the eleventh commandment.

"Yes, but you were the defender of the wrong faith."

Lion Tamers School - Lion licking his lips examiner marking a fail

'Thank you for not guessing.'

The joy of sects.

Examiners.

"Office of quality assurance"

"I pride myself on being able to walk that fine line between misdemeanor and felony."

'Psst, buddy -- Apocrypha!'

Religion & Economics.

"Smart Arse"

"Just my luck."

Lambs to the Slaughter

"If atheism is a religion, why hasn't it broken up into splinter groups who murder each other?"

"Some people say you can't put a price on a wife's twenty-seven years of loyalty and devotion. They're wrong."

'I knew it! Important Exclusion 347, 'Plummeting Pachyderms'. . .'

'If it's all the same to you, we'd prefer not to get involved.'

"OK, so you've told us what God thinks... but now I'd like to know what YOU think!"

"I thought SAT was 'Smart Alec Teacher'!"

"And lo, we made God in our own image.."

"They're really more like a bucket list."

"Well, certainly his claim seems justified , but if we paid off every justified claim what kind of insurance company would we be?"

'...no you can't phone a friend!'

Vicar losing his place in the sermon.

"You know how I feel about sampling!"